Appearances
by Zelgadis55
Summary: 'Mikey hesitated, then shrugged; it was only a dream, after all. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.' After the final ceremony of Obon goes terribly wrong, Mikey begins dreaming of his lost love. Soon, he only knows one thing for certain, the danger is real and his brothers don't believe him. Written for the Halloween TMNT Fanbook - The Darkest Nights
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.

Warnings: This story contains disturbing content, T-cest, language and potential trigger warnings. You have been warned.

Summary: 'Mikey hesitated, then shrugged; it was only a dream, after all. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.' After the final ceremony of Obon goes terribly wrong, Mikey begins dreaming of his lost love. Soon, he only knows one thing for certain, the danger is real and his brothers don't believe him.

Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.

A/N: This story was written for the TMNT Halloween Fanbook - The Darkest Nights. If you are curious to see all the great art and stories created for this deliciously horrifying book, you can find the link for on Sampsonknight's profile on Deviant Art.

For those that might be disappointed about this story containing TCest, I am sorry you are disappointed but I am not sorry I wrote this (even if putting it up in public terrifies me). I don't intend to make a habit of writing TCest as I am generally not a fan of it (though I will read it if the story sounds interesting enough or I particularly like the author) but either way, this story was begging me to be told and had been bugging me for about a year. It had to get out. Oh, and don't worry, I believe in the 'behind closed doors' policy.

I do hope you can enjoy this, even if it is different to what I normally write.

The amazing cover art was drawn by Sampsonknight and will be found on DA whenever the lazy woman gets around to posting it XD

* * *

 **Appearances**

Ch 1

Michelangelo knelt sadly in front of the altar, solemnly reaching out to light the raspberry-vanilla incense, Raph's unspoken favourite, before settling back on his haunches, clapping and bowing his head in prayer.

If anyone had asked him as a child, he'd have sworn he would never have missed a brother so badly; after all, he'd always thought they'd be together forever. And for a time it seemed true. As the years went by the four of them only grew closer, especially after losing their father in a vicious attack on their previous home. In fact, the remains of the small family grew so close in the aftermath that for two of them they became more than just brothers. Then, a little over half a year ago, tragedy struck, leaving the remaining three grieving and Mikey feeling more lost and alone than he could remember feeling his entire life.

As August approached, Mikey suddenly remembered a story their father once told them, of how, after losing Tang Shen, Hamato Yoshi would take a few days out of his life to welcome her spirit to the living world to spend time with her before helping her find her way back to the safety of the afterlife. So Mikey did some research and decided to welcome Raph back the same way.

As the ninja sat in seiza desperately hoping for the miracle he expected, he was painfully aware of Leo and Donnie watching from behind. Though they'd all been brought up with spiritual beliefs, Mikey was aware that Donnie felt the idea of spirits returning for a few days as ludicrous and that Leo, while especially spiritual, felt shame at not commemorating their father the same way in years past. As a result, Mikey knew both thought he was just being 'typical Mikey'.

In other words, stupid.

Mikey took a deep breath and reached out mentally, calling out to welcome Raphael home.

Nothing changed. Not the atmosphere of the room, nor even his own feelings of loneliness and despair, so taking a few more deep breaths, he thought of Raph – his shit-eating grin, his passion, the intensity of his golden gaze, his love for family and for him – and then he called out again, reaching out with all his heart and soul.

Suddenly, familiar warmth filled him and Mikey knew, without a doubt, that Raphael had come home.

-:-

Mikey looked up from the papercraft lantern on the kitchen table to his brothers. "Are you guys sure you won't come to the river with me? It's the last day of Obon and we've gotta help Raph return safely," he explained, fiddling anxiously with his creation. "He's your brother too."

Donnie shook his head. "Unfortunately, I have to pass. I can't leave my experiment alone that long as it's at a rather critical stage," he replied. While he still thought the whole thing ridiculous, he couldn't deny the effect the last few days had on their brother and was therefore grateful Mikey had tried; seeing the disappointment on his face now, however, had him wishing he could spare the time and abandon his work.

"Sorry, Mikey, but Casey already asked me to accompany him tonight. He's heard some disturbing rumours that he feels need checking out and you know he promised April he wouldn't go after Purple Dragons alone anymore," Leo explained calmly.

Mikey bit his lip, suddenly fearful of Leo insisting on him joining too despite him needing to send off Raph tonight.

"Don't worry, Mikey," Leo immediately added warmly. "It's just recon at this point and I won't call for backup from either of you unless we need it."

"That's a relief. I really can't afford to leave the lab for more than a few minutes at a time tonight," Donnie replied, an almost unnoticed tension leaving him "Though of course I will if you run into trouble."

Mikey nodded, agreeing as he placed a small candle into the lantern, fixing it into place. He'd tried welcoming Splinter home too but unlike Raph, he hadn't come. He smiled softly; even now he could feel a gentle warmth on his shoulder as if Raph rested a hand there to comfort him as he'd often done in life. "Okay," he breathed softly. "Then I guess I'm sending our brother off alone."

"It's probably better this way," Leo said gently. "You two were so much... closer. At least this way you can have some privacy to say goodbye." While Mikey and Raph's deeper relationship was known to their brothers and accepted, Leo had never been completely comfortable with the idea; mostly from a leadership point-of-view.

Mikey took a deep, steadying breath and abruptly stood. He wanted to reach the riverbank before sunset; something about that time sang to him as being not only appropriate but necessary. Leo wasn't thrilled with the idea of Mikey being in the open so early in the evening so he'd promised to go to a location where he could be hidden by rocks and a nearby jetty. Since the only place he knew like that was quite distant from home, he had to leave now.

As Mikey headed for the door, Donnie's concerned voice rang out, making him look back.

"Make sure you call me when you arrive at the river," Donnie insisted, "and when you're on your way back so I know you're okay. I'll check on you via the tracker periodically."

"Sure, bro," Mikey smiled warmly.

And with his heart feeling lighter with the reminder that they did care and he wouldn't truly be alone again after tonight, Mikey set off on his trek to the river and Raph's departure from the mortal realm for the second time.

-:-

The sight of the open space and river beyond the pipe ahead made Mikey's heart clench with dread. In only minutes he'd have to say goodbye all over again and he really wasn't sure he was strong enough. Having Raph's spirit around over the last few days, even if he couldn't see or hear him, had been wonderful and Mikey didn't want to return alone to the cold, seemingly empty lair they called home.

Crouching, since he couldn't stand upright in the outflow pipe, Mikey stared out, swallowing as he tried to gather his courage to do what needed to be done. Thanks to all the stories and legends he'd read, he knew it wasn't safe for a spirit to wander the Earth. There were nasty things out there which liked to consume such beings and that was if being trapped as an unbound spirit, unable to touch or communicate, didn't drive them insane first. Mikey looked up towards the warm presence radiating nearby and nodded, clutching protectively at the lantern in front of him, then shuffled his way towards the open.

At the rim of the pipe which jutted out among rocks just above the high tide mark of the river, Mikey paused and listened, extending all his senses for any signs of humans too close. When he felt nothing, he darted from the pipe and underneath the jetty only metres away. There, he hesitated, staring ahead at the rapidly sinking sun and swallowing repeatedly. He'd never been a turtle at a loss for words but right at that moment, his tongue betrayed him, refusing to move, refusing to allow him speech.

Suddenly, he felt the warmth caress him with a ghostly touch once more, this time under his chin as if Raph were trying to tilt his head up to meet his eyes. Mikey took a deep breath and smiled as brightly as he could. "It sucks having to say goodbye again, Raphie," he tried not to choke, "but I guess we'll always have Obon, right?" Not that he expected it, but there was no answer beyond a shifting of the faint impression of warmth against his cheek as if the person he loved with all his heart was now cupping it.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Fighting desperately with his emotions, he felt the intense desire to crush the delicate paper lantern to his plastron as if it were Raph and never let go. Suddenly, he noticed the leading edge of the sun touch the horizon and for a moment, panicked. Then, forcing himself to calm, Mikey fumbled at a pocket of his belt and pulled out the matchbox he'd brought with him. With his heart in his throat, he struck the match, watching as it flared to flame, then he touched it to the wick and the candle burst into life.

Mikey smiled sadly, already feeling Raph move away, drawn to the lit candle. He took another breath and began to walk towards the river. "Now I know we can see each other again next year, I'll be okay, so..." Mikey swallowed painfully, not wanting to think of the long, lonely stretch in between. "You look after yourself and Master Splinter and try not to worry about..." Suddenly, something slammed into him from both behind and to the side. The breath left his body as he tumbled madly, the paper lantern soaring from his grasp.

Allowing instinct to take over, Mikey quickly recovered and sprang to his feet, drawing his nunchaku and setting them awhirl in one smooth movement as he turned to take in his attacker.

At the sight that greeted him, his breath froze in his chest. Footsoldiers surrounded him and he was all alone. He was in for the fight of his life.

-:-

Full dark had descended upon him while Mikey desperately fought and now he stood, hands on knees and huffing with exhaustion as he cautiously eyed the bodies littered all about. Thank god Footsoldiers so rarely spoke and that he himself, knowing civilians wandered about nearby, had managed to keep his mouth shut. Well... mostly shut anyway. There'd been more than a few times the mocking jibes at the Foot's 'ability' had insisted on voicing themselves.

Satisfied no one was getting up anytime soon, and there were at least three never getting up again, Mikey suddenly remembered why he was out here alone in the first place. Panic filled his heart and he cast his gaze about, searching for the paper lantern.

To his horror he soon found it, crushed and burnt to ashes with the candle half melted and in pieces. "Raph!" he cried, terrified. Without the lantern to lead him back to the safety of the afterlife, his spirit would be trapped here.

Mikey thought desperately as he pulled out his shell-cell to check the time. There were still two and a half hours until Obon was over. He could make it back home, slap together another lantern and get back to send Raph off again before midnight! "It... it'll be okay. I can fix this," he gushed urgently, trying to convince himself as well as Raph, fighting the fear filling his heart that it was already too late. He looked about wildly; he couldn't sense Raph anywhere nearby but then again, he was agitated from the battle and disastrous ceremony. Ever since Raph's spirit had returned on the first day of Obon, Mikey had found that he needed to be calm and his mind open to sense his lover's ghostly presence at all; a difficult feat at the best of times.

He began running for the stormwater drain just down the beach when he heard a heavy vehicle's brakes squeal followed by a door slam. He sucked in a breath as he froze in place, listening. It had sounded like the Battleshell but...

Abruptly, a shadowy figure somersaulted from higher ground and landed, long, slim weapon at the ready. With his eyes not adjusted to the darkness of the riverbank, Mikey knew they couldn't see him but he was able to see his brother just fine. Mikey dashed forward.

"Donnie? Am I happy to see you, bro!"

"Mikey?" Donnie returned fearfully, stepping towards him. "Are you okay? I checked the tracker and saw movement suggesting you were in a fight and you never answered my text!"

"Couldn't. I'm sorry, Don!" Guiltily, Mikey realised he should have called back once the fight was over; after all, what could he have done earlier? Held up a hand to ask the enemy for a timeout while he called for backup?

"Are you okay?" Donnie repeated anxiously. He reached out, grabbing for Mikey as if to check him over for injuries in the dim lighting but Mikey pulled away, already heading for the small cliff where the Battleshell was parked above.

"I'm fine, Donnie but we gotta get home fast," he insisted, pulling out his shuko spikes for the short climb. "I'll tell you about it on the way."

-:-

Since Donnie had called Leo as he drove to find Mikey, he called again as they left to let Leo know Mikey was safe, even while Mikey fidgeted impatiently in the passenger seat beside him. At Leo's insistence, Donnie detoured to pick him up and then they had to wait while he and Casey finished their reconnaissance. Then, to make matters worse, they dropped their friend off first.

Once they finally reached home, Mikey jumped from the still moving vehicle and ran inside for his art supplies, shouting over his shoulder. "Keep the Battleshell running! I'll be right back!" A few minutes later with new candle, paper, thick cardboard, scissors and Donnie's super strong, instant drying glue in hand, he ran back towards the garage, only to stop as he saw Leo and Donnie walking inside. "Uh... where are you going, dudes? We need to get back to the river before it's too late! We need to send Raph back before Obon's over!"

Leo shook his head. "It's already too late. Don needs to take care of your injuries and by the time that's done, it'll be well past midnight."

Mikey felt his desperation and temper flare. "No way, Leo! I can wait, Raph _can't!_ "

"Mikey," Leonardo sighed sadly. "Raph's gone. He's been gone for months."

" _No!_ Raph came back for Obon and if we don't light his way back, he'll be trapped here and you _know_ it's not safe for spirits. He'd be prey for anything!"

"Please be reasonable, Mikey," Donnie pleaded, attempting to steer him towards the infirmary. "At least three of your injuries need stitches, several more need cleaning and your ankle needs taking care of."

"After we help Raph!" Mikey jutted out his chin obstinately. "He's got a time limit, I don't! I'll let you fuss over me all you like after that! It's not like I'm going to bleed to death or anything!"

"Mikey," Leo began, only to be cut off again.

"Please help me!" he begged, turning his shimmering baby blue gaze from one brother to the other with the look that none of his brothers had ever been able to turn down. "If you don't, I'll just drive back there by myself but I won't have time to make a new lantern. We _need_ you, Leo, Donnie!"

Donnie and Leo exchanged looks and sighed, defeated.

-:-

They reached the river as Mikey put the finishing touches on the new lantern. A clocktower in the distance began chiming midnight so without waiting for the all clear, he jumped from the van and raced for the water's edge, pulling out the matches as he ran.

"I love you, Raph," Mikey whispered as he placed the lantern gently on the water and watched it slowly float away. He felt two hands rest on his shoulders as his still living brothers joined him on the riverbank and relaxed with their comforting presence.

"See you next year!"

-:-

"Hey, wake up already, Knucklehead!"

Mikey groaned as his eyes fluttered open to look blearily into the darkness of his room. To his surprise, highlighted by the faint glow of his night-light was one of his brothers standing over him and reaching down to shake him once more. He pushed himself partially up onto an elbow and the figure leaned back. Mikey could just make out a painfully familiar smirk in the dim lighting as he blinked to clear his sleep filled vision.

"'bout time you woke up. Geeze! And to think you an' Leo used to complain about how hard it was to wake _me_ up!"

"Gimme a break," Mikey whined pathetically as he instinctively sought sympathy, "I only went to bed like an hour ago."

"More like three hours ago. Been tryin' to wake you up since!" he snorted in return. "An' sorry to make you get up so soon after the night you just had but we're runnin' out of time."

"Out of time for what?" Mikey asked in confusion. The turtle above him really wasn't making any sense. "Wait a sec... Raph? Is that really you?"

The amused smirk widened. "Who else would I be?"

"But... you're dead! Why... _How_ are you here?" Mikey gasped in shock, sitting up straighter and letting his blanket fall away.

"Never mind that right now, we gotta hurry before we lose the night," Raphael insisted impatiently. "Get the hell up already!"

"Fine..." Mikey grumbled as he crawled out of his nice, warm bed. "You're lucky I trust you, I wouldn't just get out of bed for any old dead turtle, you know. So where are we..." Mikey abruptly stopped speaking as he felt a familiar and oh-so-missed calloused hand snatch greedily at his own, dragging him out the bedroom door. So great was his surprise at the intimate grip that all thought of what was going on fled his mind and if he glanced back at his bed on the way out and saw a blanketed figure still snoozing away, it never occurred to him to question it.

-:-

Mikey raced along the pre-dawn beach laughing madly as Raph gave chase, calling out threats of what he planned to do to Mikey when he finally caught up with him.

To be honest, Mikey wasn't really sure how they'd arrived here. One minute he'd been following Raph out the lair door and the next, they found themselves on this deserted beach in the middle of nowhere. One thing soon led to another, leading them to this point of the game.

Mikey glanced back over his shell as he ran to see how far behind Raph was. "So what's with the zombie shuffle, Raphie? I thought you wanted some of this," he teased playfully, waggling his shell enticingly in Raph's direction as he continued running. "Rigor mortis is supposed to make you stiff, not slow." Suddenly Mikey froze, horror filling his features as he realised what he'd just said. Before he could pull himself together and apologise, Raph took the opportunity to tackle him to the fine, white sand.

"I'll show you 'stiff an' slow'," Raph growled menacingly.

The lopsided smirk lifting one corner of his mouth assured Mikey that Raph hadn't taken his thoughtless comment to heart, so he gave a half-hearted struggle, not really wanting to break free of the strong arms holding him down. It wasn't long, however, until Raph suddenly pulled back, apprehension filling his features as he stared worriedly down at Mikey.

"What?" Mikey asked, desperately trying not to show anything beyond the sheer happiness he felt at Raph actually being there with him.

"Are you okay?" Raph asked softly, a rare concern sounding in his voice.

Mikey snorted lightly. "Of course I am. You're with me!"

For a moment Raph appeared uncomfortable as if struggling to find words. He shook his head. "Don't lie to me, Mikey, I can see it in your eyes. You look like you're about to cry."

"I don't cry!" Mikey retorted, aghast at the very idea. It wasn't true though. He just didn't cry in front of anyone because he never wanted them to worry.

"Yeah," Raph muttered in disbelief. "So what's wrong, then?"

Mikey hesitated and then sat up, shrugging; it was only a dream, after all. He turned slightly and stared out across the sea to where the dawn would soon break as Raph gave him enough space to do so. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.

"What?" Raph asked in shock, unconsciously echoing Mikey's earlier question.

"I said, I don't want to wake up," Mikey repeated, eyes fixed on the point where the sunrise was just beginning to edge over the horizon. "This feels so real and I don't want to wake up and realise this was all just a stupid dream and remember I'm all alone again. It hurts too much."

"What makes you think this is just a dream, Mikey?" Raph asked oddly, making Mikey finally turn back and search his golden gaze intently.

"I mean, yeah, you won't be able to see or hear me when you're awake, nothin' I can do about that," Raph said sorrowfully, "but I promise you that you _won't_ be alone. I'll be with you the whole time and since I finally got you to hear me in your dreams once, I'll make sure you hear me again."

Mikey stared gape-jawed at Raphael. The sun began rising in earnest, filling Mikey with hope. He reached out with a tentative hand towards Raph's face. "Is it _really_ you, Raph?"

"You tell me," he smirked.

Mikey leaned close, "It feels like you, smells like you..." All of a sudden, he darted closer to plant his lips on Raph's, kissing him hungrily.

"Tastes like you," he breathed when he eventually pulled away. Suddenly, Mikey leant away in confusion, looking askance at Raph. "Why do you taste like apple crumble?"

Raph smirked again, "Last thing I ate."

Mikey blinked. The last time he'd made that was the night Raph died. He'd refused to make it since. "How is this possible, Raph?" he asked, trying to make sense of it all.

Raph shrugged, refusing to withdraw his gaze from Mikey. "Obon. You showed me the way home, Mike."

"Yeah, but... but then I sent you back at the end of it!" Mikey cried, remembering how hard he'd tried to make it in time, what with the attack on him and everything else that had happened.

"Yeah... about that..." Raph began uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, bro, I know you meant well an' all but..."

"I was too late, right?" Mikey whispered, remembering his original feeling of needing to do it at sunset.

Raph shook his head frantically, unable to stand the sadness and self-recrimination in Mikey. "No, Mikey. It's not that. It's..."

"It's what?" Mikey asked flatly.

Raph sighed. "It's more that... after you were attacked and all alone like that, I knew I couldn't leave you alone again. I saw the way things are at home over the last few days and I can't let you be that alone anymore. I'm here to stay," he said determinately.

"R... really?" Mikey asked desperately. "But... isn't it dangerous for you, for ghosts, to walk the Earth?"

Raph made a derisive glottal sound. "What's the difference between the danger of a ghost walkin' the Earth and a mutant turtle walkin' the Earth?"

"Well, when you put it like that," Mikey answered dryly.

Raph smiled gently. "I'll be fine, Mikey, and..." he reached out to touch Mikey's face tenderly, "that's why I'm stayin'. But Mikey, an' I'm bein' serious here, if you _dare_ to stop livin' just so you can be with me in your dreams, I'll damn well stop showin' up. You got that?"

For a moment, Mikey wasn't sure what to say but then he smiled brilliantly and nodded, bright sunlight splashing over him.

"God, you're beautiful in the dawn light," Raph muttered, blinking as though blinded by the sunlight hitting Mikey's face.

"So are you, Raphie," Mikey replied softly.

And he reached out to Raphael, drawing him down as they sank into the soft, white sand.

-:-

Mikey hung back in the shadows of the alleyway, clutching tightly at Raph's arm. "Are you insane?" he hissed, "or did being dead so long make you forget that mutant turtles can't just _walk_ into a movie theatre without a disguise?" Both were wearing the same gear they normally did; pads, belt, mask and a few wrappings along with their weapons.

Raph tossed him a look of amusement. "And did you forget that I'm a ghost and they can't _see_ me and you're dreamin' and they won't see you either?"

"N- no!" Mikey spluttered indignantly. He knew it was true and this time had looked closely at his sleeping body still wrapped in blankets with disbelief before leaving the lair with Raph. It was just that it all felt so real that he could swear he could even smell the popcorn wafting in the air from the building in front of them.

"Well, come on then," Raph retorted impatiently, pulling Mikey along behind him. "Thought you really wanted to see this movie before the DVD release?"

"I do!" Mikey protested, still hesitant about going inside among all the humans. "Those cam recordings on the net suck and a movie like 'Silver Sentry – Homebound' needs to be seen on the big screen."

"Then stop baulkin' an' let's go get seats, already!" Raph snorted, releasing Mikey's hand and striding in ahead of him.

For a moment, Mikey watched how Raph neatly skirted around the humans, uncaring, and seeing how no one screamed "Mutant!" or "Alien!" took heart that Raph was right after all. Before his nerve could fail him, he dashed madly after his date, cringing as someone suddenly stepped in front of him, leaving no chance to dodge. Mikey shuddered at the strange and horrible feeling that raced up his spine and noticed that the woman did too.

"Sorry!" Mikey called over his shoulder as he forced himself to run after Raph once more.

"What's wrong?" someone asked from behind.

"Felt like someone just walked over my grave," came the woman's reply.

When Mikey finally caught up to Raph, he realised he was standing there, chuckling at him.

"Weird, isn't it?"

Mikey nodded vigorously. "More like freaky! Do you ever get used to it?"

Shrugging, Raph replied, "Who knows. I've only been back five days, remember?"

"Yeah," Mikey smiled in return. "So how many times have you done it?"

"Accidentally got Leo once an' then he was searchin' for danger for hours after!" Raph snickered, leading the way to the correct theatre.

Mikey laughed as he followed. "Yeah, I remember that! That was only a few hours after Obon started, right?"

"Right! Steered clear of him after that," Raph replied wryly as he turned into the doorway.

As they reached the foot of the seating, Raph began searching for two seats together but the theatre was nearly full. Mikey looked around anxiously. Sure, no one could see them but they still wanted to sit together and not on the stairs or on top of anyone. "So did it happen any other times?"

"Yeah," Raph chuckled. "Got Casey a few times the day he came 'round, but the jerk didn't even notice. Think people have gotta be sensitive to that sorta stuff to feel it too."

"Makes sense," Mikey chortled, "and no one could ever accuse Casey Jones of being sensitive."

"Got that right!" Raph snorted derisively, his sharp gaze still searching intently. "Ya know, I don't think we're gonna be in luck, Mike. There's nothin' together."

Mikey stared around in dismay; Raph was right. He bit his lip as he thought and then smiled. "Why don't we see if there's anyone sensitive around?"

"What..." Raph began before realising Mikey had already taken off, bounding energetically through the crowd of seated humans. Most didn't react strongly but a few did and so, standing on top of a couple in prime seating near the back once the lights went down, Mikey tried desperately not to twitch himself from the uncomfortable sensation. When he saw Raph watching him curiously, he beckoned to his brother, calling out, and Raph soon joined him.

After several minutes, the seated couple had enough of feeling freaked out for seemingly no reason, and muttering to each other, stood up and left, hightailing it away as fast as they could. Mikey laughed, feeling only slightly guilty as he watched, then settled down into his seat. As he pulled Raph down with him, he was grateful that the vacating couple left the armrest up between them.

As they settled and the movie soon began, Raph murmured, "Sorry I can't get popcorn or anythin'."

"It's okay," Mikey breathed back; he didn't feel hungry anyway. He snuggled comfortably into Raph. "I've got all I need right here."

-:-

"Let's go in there, Raph!" Mikey cried, tugging Raph enthusiastically towards a crowded, snaking line.

"That's a nightclub, doofus," Raph stated flatly as he stubbornly stood his ground.

"Yeah, I know. All night party!" Mikey retorted, pulling again. Raph still didn't budge. "I've always wanted to go to one at least once. Haven't you?'

Raph's face twitched. "Well, kinda. Once at least," he admitted reluctantly. "But it's gonna suck, Mikey."

Mikey stopped trying to drag Raph behind him and turned to face him in disbelief. "How the shell would you know that, Raph?"

Raph sighed and gestured impatiently at the long line. "Way too crowded."

"So what? Like you said the other night, you're a ghost and I'm... I'm dreaming. No one'll see us!"

"Remember the movies the other night?"

Mikey stared at Raph. "How could I forget? That was an awesome flick, dude!"

Raph pulled a face, "An' do you remember what it was like to walk through someone?" he asked in disgust.

Mikey remembered. It was extremely uncomfortable and unpleasant, though he had put up with the sensation to get them the best seats in the house.

"It'll be just like that in there, only there'll be nowhere for us to go to escape it, 'cept behind the bar and that'll be a whole other level of suck since we can't even drink."

"Is that all you're worried about, Raphie?" Mikey asked in astonishment. Then he smiled. "Well, don't. I've seen pictures of this place. There'll be plenty of space, trust me."

With that, Mikey turned and ran across the road, aware of Raph reluctantly following him.

Once they were inside, having literally walked through the crowd and ignoring the shivers and occasional soft, unnerved cries, Mikey leant over the railing joyfully, staring down into the crowd on the dance floor in excitement.

"Isn't this great, Raph?" Mikey shouted over the booming beat, his body already moving in time with the music.

"No! They're packed like damn sardines down there!" Raph yelled back in annoyance.

Mikey turned his head and looked up at Raph, illuminated by flashing, multi-coloured lights and grinned. "Yeah! Come on!"

"You can't seriously wanna stick around!" Raph bellowed to be heard.

Mikey pouted, upset that Raph wasn't willing to at least give it a chance. "We only just got here, Raphie." He allowed his eyes to shimmer brightly with unshed crocodile tears.

Raph sighed, trying not to give in. "We'll only bring down the mood thanks to anyone feelin' us and besides," Raph grimaced as yet another person partially passed through him, "I _hate_ bein' walked through!"

"Pft! We won't _be_ walked through, Raph!" Mikey scoffed. "There's our almost private dance floor over there!"

And then he turned and pointed to the large stage deep in the heart of the club where only the DJ stood, surrounded by his equipment.

-:-

"Hey, Mikey?"

Startled out of his reverie, Mikey looked up from the comic he wasn't really reading on the couch to see not just Donnie, but Leo also standing near, looking down at him in concern. "What's up, dudes?" Mikey asked easily.

"We've noticed you seem a bit... uh..." Leo began, struggling for the right word.

"Distant," Donnie supplied, saving him.

Leo nodded, "A bit distant ever since Obon. Are you alright?"

Mikey smiled softly. "Yeah, I've been great," he replied. It was true. Overall, he did feel great and yet, a part of him wondered if everything he'd been experiencing over the last few nights was really true. If it wasn't just all some elaborate series of dreams after all.

Donnie and Leo exchanged concerned glances, obviously uncertain if they believed him.

"Don went and downloaded that movie you've been wanting to see. I thought we could watch it together?" Leo offered uncertainly.

"Which movie?" Mikey asked curiously; there were a lot of movies he wanted to see.

"'Silver Sentry – Homebound'," Donnie replied. "I was actually able to find a cam recording that's a decent quality."

"No thanks," Mikey smiled. "I've already seen... uh..." he trailed off as he realised he couldn't really explain that he'd seen it on a date with their dead brother.

"You can't have seen it yet unless you've been sneaking out on your own while injured," Leo admonished in a tone that clearly warned of dire consequences if it should be proven otherwise.

Mikey shook his head, surprised to realise that he never felt any kind of pain from his recent injuries while out on the town with Raphael. "No, I meant, I'd rather see it when it comes out on DVD. That's the sort of movie you want to see properly!" he explained quickly. Then, seeing Donnie's disappointed look and Leo's disbelieving one, he thought again.

"Ahh, who am I kidding? We all know I can't wait that long," he laughed. "I'd love to watch it with both of you," he said, getting up to sling arms around both brother's shoulders.

And besides, if he watched it with them and it was the same movie he saw in his dream, then he'd know for certain that it was all real.

-:-

Mikey had just spent a couple of very enjoyable hours strolling through the lit pathways of Central Park, arm-in-arm with his ghostly beau.

Just over two weeks had passed since Obon now, and Mikey had spent every night since with Raphael and it had been wonderful. He wished he could see and hear Raph during his waking hours also, but, just like during Obon, if he kept calm and kept his mind open, he could at least sense his lover's apparition close by.

And close by he always was.

"Hey, I hope you don't follow me into the bathroom," Mikey asked as a thought suddenly occurred to him.

"What the shell are you talkin' about?" Raph turned startled golden eyes upon him.

"You know," Mikey said coyly, "when I gotta go. I hope you respect my privacy," he reiterated.

Raph coloured and looked away quickly, rolling his eyes as he did.

"Ra~aph!" Mikey whined indignantly. " _How could you?_ "

"Relax, Shell-for-brains!" Raph shot back. "I wait outside the damn door!"

"Really?" Mikey perked up, wanting to believe him. And yet...

"Yeah. I don't need to watch that. It's totally unsexy."

Mikey grinned, suddenly picking up on what Raph wasn't saying. "But you've thought about it, haven't you?" he taunted playfully.

" _No!_ "

"Just the illicit peep show part, I mean," he teased, enjoying watching his lover's colour deepen further as he shuffled slightly on the spot, unable to meet Mikey's gaze.

"Maybe I can give you a private show sometime?" Mikey offered, his cheeky grin widening. "You can follow me into my room or perhaps the shower and I can lock the door behind me. It'll be... scandalous, knowing there's a ghost spying on me and me unable to do anything to stop you."

Somehow, Raph managed to colour further and his voice, when he finally spoke, was tense and weakened. "Be better if you," he swallowed, "if you wait till you're dreamin' so that I can join in," he muttered, eyeing Mikey with a gimlet stare.

Mikey laughed lightly, thinking of how horny Raph would be that night if he gave him a show during the day when he was helpless to act on it and resolved to do so the very next day.

-:-

They'd been racing across the rooftops for over an hour now, against Mikey's better judgement. When Raph had suggested it, it had been with such wanting in his eyes that Mikey couldn't help but agree without argument. He now knew why it had been such a bad idea. Raphael, as a ghost, and him in this strange dream that crossed into reality, could easily make the jumps and leaps just like old times but they couldn't feel the rushing wind and quite frankly, couldn't experience the adrenaline rush Mikey was used to as they leapt across concrete chasms. He could tell Raph felt disappointed and miserable from the situation but not by anything his lover said or did. Rather, it was due to the set of his shoulders and the very way he held himself as he ran.

Mikey sighed to himself as he kept pace just behind Raphael. To be honest, that wasn't the only thing spoiling the mood. Ever since he began dreaming that night after Obon ended, and he'd first left the lair with Raph, he'd had the increasingly awful feeling that something was wrong, just like every time they'd gone to the underground city or the Volpehart building. He hadn't bothered speaking up about it though, after all, it's not like anyone ever listened to him in the past. Shell, whenever he had actually tried, they'd actively mocked him for being a scaredy turtle, despite the fact he'd been right. Every time. Raph and Donnie, in particular, had always been happy to pay heed to such things when it was Leo's intuition sensing something, but when it was himself? Hah! The trouble was, that the longer they were away from home and the further they went, the worse Mikey's feeling was and the more fidgety he became. Right now, it was ringing in his body louder than Donnie after he or Raph had accidentally destroyed something in the lab or lair.

Finally, Raph stopped and turned to him, annoyance written all over his body. "What the hell's crawled up your shell tonight?" he demanded, immediately assuming the trouble was only with Mikey himself.

"Nothing!" Mikey protested. Yes, while he felt off about tonight, he was good at hiding his own issues thanks to years of practice and trying to avoid brothers worrying about him. It was Raph who was radiating the bad mood.

"You sick a bein' out with me or somethin'?"

"No!" Mikey gasped, horrified that Raph could ever think that of him. He knew that once upon a time Raph had issues of not feeling good enough for anyone else, but Mikey had thought his brother had finally managed to put such notions behind him once they'd finally gotten together. "No way, Raph! I live for my nights with you!"

Raph eyed him suspiciously. "Then what's with the damn mood?" he accused belligerently.

Mikey bit his lip, unsure how to explain. Then, seeing Raph begin to pull away, both physically and emotionally, obviously thinking he'd been right with his accusation after all, Mikey made up his mind to tell the truth, even if he'd always been mocked for it in the past. "Well... remember how when we went..."

A terrified scream for help pierced the night, cutting Mikey off. Raphael automatically whipped around, searching intently for the source.

"Don't Raph!" Mikey immediately pleaded desperately, knowing it would do no good. "We can't do anything to help!"

"Gotta try anyway," Raph snapped with a fierce scowl.

Finding the direction, Raph began running once more and Mikey reached out, trying to latch onto Raph's arm to hold him back, to somehow stop him from experiencing the torment that could only come from trying and failing, to help. Nothing good could ever come from this, he knew, but Raph simply shrugged him off and so Mikey gave chase, his terrible feeling spiking ever sharper within.

It didn't take long for the pair to reach the dark alleyway the desperate, now muffled, cries sounded from, and they both raced down the fire escape, jumping from platform to platform.

"Get away from the girl!" Raph snarled fiercely once he was within hearing range.

The drunkard, unhearing, slammed the woman's head to the ground and while she lay there dazed and barely struggling, began to tear at her clothing.

Mikey felt sick. He knew they couldn't do a thing but that didn't stop Raph. Growling, Raphael surged forward, grabbing at the attacker to pull him off and toss him into the wall. Raph's hand, however, passed straight through. Unphased, Raph immediately threw a fearsome punch at the assailant's head, right as the man ripped the helpless woman's underwear off.

Before Mikey's eyes, Raph stared at his fist in sheer disbelief, before trying again and again as the woman finally renewed her struggles for freedom, biting viciously at her attacker's hand.

Shaking with anger at the terrible act in front of him, Mikey grabbed at Raph again; he couldn't just watch this violation, not after what happened last time. "Raph, come on, we can't..."

Raph threw him off and continued trying to lash out at the despicable excuse for a human, "I gotta try! Don't you get it, Mikey? There's no one else here!"

Breathing heavily, Mikey thought fast. "I'm... Raph, I'm going to wake up. I'll get Leo and Don and come right back!"

Raph stared up at Mikey wildly, "You'll never make it back in time!" he snapped.

Swallowing in fear, Mikey glanced over right as the rapist penetrated the screaming woman, "Then... I'll call Casey! He doesn't live far from here!"

Raph shook his head. "No! Call the cops! Get them to come!" He turned back to the horrific sight, mind racing as he tried to come up with something, anything, to help. "I'll keep trying. Maybe... maybe I can at least make him uncomfortable enough to leave."

Mikey nodded, fighting back tears of horror. The man was too drunk and wouldn't notice, he knew. But still... "I'll get help!" he promised.

-:-

To be continued.

* * *

* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Appearances**

Ch 2

Blue lights flashed insistently at the mouth of the alleyway and portable lamps flooded the area, illuminating two intertwined bodies still connected by flesh as a police photographer recorded the horrifying scene below. The woman's eyes stared sightlessly upwards while her attacker still lay upon her and it was all Mikey could do not to throw up at the sight as he stared down, wishing he could have done something, anything, to stop it.

Suddenly, the photographer lowered her camera to stare down at the crime scene. Then, turning to look towards the cars. " _She's still alive!_ " All at once, frantic movement filled the area as police scrambled to gently pry the attacker from his victim, unwilling to wait for an ambulance. When the rapist was finally pulled away, Mikey saw his face, frozen in terror, and a violent chill ran through him.

He leant over the abyss further, peeling his eyes desperately for any sign of Raph, cursing the fact that he'd never been able to see him while awake. Without warning, hands landed on his shoulders to pull him away from the edge. He shook them off and launched forward once more. Raphael was still down here, he just _knew_ it, and somehow, he had to find a way to let his lover know he'd returned as he'd said he would.

"Mikey!" Leo hissed angrily. "Get away from the edge before someone sees you!"

"My god!" Donnie breathed in horror, staring down. "Mikey was right! How did you know?" he asked, tearing his gaze away long enough to look at Mikey.

"Told you already! I was here with Raph but you guys wouldn't believe me," Mikey retorted quietly, bitterness edging his words. He hadn't meant to tell them the truth on the way but Leo forced his hand by threatening to turn the Battleshell around. When Mikey capitulated, Leo had tried to return home anyway, so Mikey jumped from the vehicle and returned on foot. His brothers were left with no choice but to follow or go home without him.

"That's ridiculous," Donnie replied obstinately, yet a hint of doubt tinged his voice. He'd always had the hardest time in their family when it came to dealing with the supernatural and unexplained and getting him to just accept it without a full, in-depth analysis each time was like drawing blood from a stone.

Mikey shook his head, wishing his brothers would just take him at his word for once in their lives. "I've been dating Raph in my dreams for weeks now," he explained anxiously, still searching down below. "How do you think I knew the plot and lines of the new 'Silver Sentry' movie only the day after opening night?" he asked, looking up directly into Donnie's eyes, challenging him

"Not only that but the night after Obon, Raph took me to the beach on Portsmouth Island to watch the sunrise."

Donnie froze in shock, recognising the name.

"Raph told me afterwards that he'd asked you about deserted beaches. He said he'd been wanting to take me since a couple of months before he died but he never got to."

"Donnie?" Leo questioned upon seeing Donnie's reaction.

"He swore me to secrecy, in case he couldn't arrange it. He didn't want to disappoint Mikey by not being able to deliver," Donnie explained softly. "He had his heart set on Portsmouth, because of how hard it is to reach."

Mikey nodded silently and turned back to the scene below. An ambulance had finally arrived and medics were taking care of the traumatised woman as someone else zipped up a body bag containing her attacker.

"I'm telling you guys the truth, Leo," Mikey insisted again. "Remember the second day of Obon when you felt some presence in the lair and you searched and meditated for hours after?"

Leo nodded.

"That was Raph. You walked through him and felt him. He's been avoiding you ever since."

"Why?" Leo asked, only barely keeping his voice down.

Mikey shrugged. "He doesn't like being walked through. It feels awful and besides, he didn't want to upset you again by making you think there was something evil around."

"How would you know this?" Leo hissed angrily.

"Raph told me when we were out together in my dreams," Mikey replied simply. "Sometimes I can actually sense him when I'm awake but only if I'm calm and really trying. I can't see or hear him though," he admitted sadly.

Looking uncomfortable, Leo nodded. "Alright. Tomorrow night when you see him, ask him to prove he's really there by passing through me three times at two o'clock. In the meantime, I'll try to reach him via meditation."

Mikey nodded, feeling better now that Leo was finally more open to the idea. Before he could speak, however, Donnie interrupted.

"We really should go now," Donnie said stiffly, glancing back to the proceedings below. "This building isn't really that tall and I'd hate for us to be noticed."

"Agreed," Leo said quietly. He stood up straight. "Come on, Mikey, let's go."

Reluctantly, Mikey stood and began to follow his brothers. Suddenly, he stopped, a thoughtful look crossing his face. Then, to Leo and Donnie's horror, he ran back to the edge and cupped his hands to his mouth calling out, " _Meet you back home, Raphie!_ "

-:-

Over the next few weeks, Mikey's dreams were uninterrupted, leaving both nights and days filled with loneliness and an ever-increasing anguish over Raph's sudden disappearance. As time continued to march, he felt a desperation, unlike anything he'd felt since originally losing Raph, making him more depressed each day. To make matters worse, Leo and Donnie became increasingly worried about his state of mind, especially with no proof presenting itself to Leo of Mikey's claims.

Numerous times, both Leonardo and Donatello tried to talk Mikey out of his funk, tried to engage him in conversation, games or movies and tried to entice him to eat properly. They tried desperately to convince him that his dreams where he'd spent so much time with his lost lover were just that, dreams. Donnie even went so far as to come up with numerous logical explanations to explain how he'd known things, like having been eavesdropping on them when Raph originally asked for help in researching deserted beaches, or having snuck out to the movie or secretly having already downloaded and watched it before them.

Mikey knew better though and studiously ignored such attempts.

Whenever he thought he was alone, he'd try talking to Raph, pleading him to stop avoiding him, though he couldn't be certain he was even around any longer.

To put it simply, Mikey sunk into a depression nothing could break. Not even April and Casey coming around and bringing Rupert's Pizza for a game night or just to hang. Mikey would manage one slice which tasted like cardboard to him and then excuse himself to bed, where he would lay staring morosely up at the cracked ceiling for hours until exhaustion would finally take him near dawn.

"What are you damn well doin' to yourself, Shell-for-brains?"

"Raph?" Mikey gasped in a weird mixture of relief and disbelief. He sat up to frantically look around his room for his lost lover. There was a grunt of acknowledgement and Mikey's gaze fell on an unusually translucent Raphael sitting on the desk nearby, refusing to look at him. "Raph, you're back!"

"Shouldn't be..." Raph muttered petulantly.

"Why not?" Mikey asked in shock, staring at his angry looking brother.

"What the fuck'd I say that first night at the beach?"

His mind blank, Mikey stared wordlessly.

Raph sighed loudly in annoyance. "That if you stopped fuckin' livin', that I'd stop comin'!"

"You _did_ stop coming!" Mikey cried indignantly. "It's been three and a half _weeks_ since... since that... night..." he finished lamely, not wanting to put into words what happened nor how much it reminded him of when they originally lost Raph so many months ago.

Raph sat silently, head still turned to the side.

"I've been worried sick, Raph!" Mikey continued moments later, once he regained his breath and composure. "I was forced to tell Leo and Don what's been going on and they would've believed me if you'd been around to prove it!"

Now Raph did look at him in disbelief. Mikey was taken aback by the unfamiliar, distant light in his eyes and fought to suppress a shudder. "You shouldn't have told them jack shit, Mikey, an' you know it!" he spat. He waved his arm, pointing behind Mikey at the still sleeping form that Mikey sat in. Mikey glanced behind and yelped, darting out of bed in a hurry, freaked out by the situation. "This is meant to be _our_ little secret. No one else's!"

"What choice did I have?" Mikey retorted with a gasp. "How else was I supposed to convince them to come with me that night? It was so far away!"

" _You weren't!_ " Raph roared. "You were s'posed to call the cops and then go back to bed! You didn't _need_ to see that!"

"Then you should have come back too!"

"Had to stop that monster!"

"You _couldn't!_ "

"Still had to try. You _know_ that!"

Mikey fell silent, his gaze dropping to the floor. He understood Raph's feelings, his need. Shell, he would've done the same if he'd been there in person. Finally, after nothing was said for several minutes, he looked up into Raph's eyes again. "Where have you been all this time anyway? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Had to sort things out," Raph muttered, looking away again as if trying to hide the shame of his helplessness. "'sides, you could have come and searched for me at any time, ya know, but you didn't."

" _How?_ I can't dream like this without your help!"

"It's just a kind of astral projection in your case," Raph replied coldly. "If you'd stopped messin' around and actually paid attention in meditation and the astral arts growin' up, it wouldn't be a fuckin' problem now."

Mikey stared back in abject disbelief. Sure, Raph had often been annoyed or angry at him many a time in their lives but he'd never sounded so heartless toward him before. "How was I supposed to know? You never told me."

"Perhaps if you'd just used that part of the body everyone else calls a brain," Raph sneered suggestively.

Mikey's jaw dropped at the hurtful words. "You should've just told me it was astral projection, Raph..." he muttered. "Then I could've tried at least..."

Raph snorted derisively. "Whatever! I'm back now so stop pinin' and makin' yourself sick already, or I _will_ stay away for your own damn good!"

"No!" Mikey gasped in horror. "You can't leave me again, Raph! You promised!" He rushed forward to grasp desperately at Raph as he spoke but Raph slid off the desk and moved away, staying out of reach.

"I won't be responsible for you gettin' sick or dyin' just to be with me," Raph spat furiously.

"I promised I wouldn't when you first came back," Mikey reminded him, hurt by Raph's lack of faith in him.

"Good! See that you don't!" Having gained a touch more solidity than earlier, yet still seeming barely there, Raph decisively stalked towards the door without even a glance back.

Mikey, for his part, panicked by the thought he was being abandoned once more raced after Raph only to find the door slammed in his face. He blinked in shock and opened the door to find a cold, empty lair on the other side, lights dimmed low for the night. As he stood there, hand on the handle, he wondered for a moment how it was he and Raph could do such a thing if it wasn't really a dream after all. Half turning, he looked back to see his bedroom door firmly closed and realised the door he held open, too, was a part of his astral projection. Shaking his head, Mikey shrugged off the thought and instead called out for Raph, looking wildly about as he did.

After several minutes of plaintive calling, Raph's disembodied voice finally floated back. "Go back to sleep, Mikey, you're exhausted. I'll be back in a couple a days or so after you've rested up some, an' you better be livin' properly again when I do."

And to his shock, for the first time, Mikey realised he couldn't tell where the voice came from.

-:-

"Can't you understand how worried we are about you, Mikey?" Donnie asked in exasperation. He tried to hide it, of course, but Mikey still heard the tone seeping into his voice regardless. The quick, almost imperceptible look he shot to Leo didn't help either.

"I get it, Donnie," Mikey repeated, feeling frustrated himself. He'd walked into the kitchen that morning to prepare breakfast, only to find Leo and Donnie already waiting with a fully cooked meal on the table; pancakes, bacon, eggs, hash browns, mushrooms, sausages, cooked tomatoes, and muffins. For a moment, Mikey panicked at the terrifying idea of either of them, especially Leo, trying to cook, but luckily he'd caught a whiff of April's scent in the air and realised that's why she and Casey had stayed so late the previous night. Obviously, they hadn't gone home after all and had instead stayed to prepare breakfast before leaving. Leo had forced him to sit down and Donnie wouldn't let him leave until he'd eaten everything directly in front of him. Then had encouraged him to eat more if he could.

Afterwards, they'd followed him into the lounge, sat him on the couch and confronted him about his recent 'behaviour'.

"But you guys don't need to worry about me anymore."

"We thought things had been improving, especially after the Obon Festival," Leo stated softly, a hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder. "You seemed to finally be getting over your depression at last and beginning to enjoy life once more. Even though there were times you'd speak to an empty room as if expecting someone to answer you or laugh, it was okay because you seemed more like yourself again."

Mikey stiffened as he realised that Leo must have caught him speaking to Raph from time to time. Okay, he couldn't see or hear Raph but that didn't matter; he could feel his presence and _knew_ he was around. "Well, sorry if I mourned a little too long for your liking, Leo. Not everyone can shunt their feelings aside as easily as some," he accused, shifting his gaze from Leo to Donnie and back again as he spoke.

"We understand how much it hurts, Mikey," Donnie spoke up gently, "he was our brother too."

Mikey resisted the intense desire to roll his eyes. He _knew_ that. Trouble was, that's _all_ Raph was to them. A brother. For him though, Raph was so much more, and the loneliness he'd felt since losing him was crippling. Neither Leo nor Donnie had been with someone the way Mikey had been with Raph and _that_ they couldn't understand.

"The problem is not how long you mourned, Mikey. The problem is that you've suddenly begun sliding backwards. That for the nearly the last month you've barely eaten and you seem more depressed than you ever were."

"That we've seen you looking around for someone who is long gone. Heard you calling, _begging_ him to come back."

"And that this all started the night you dreamt about that young woman being raped."

"I _told_ you guys that _wasn't_ just a dream! It was real! I really _was_ there with Raph first!"

"Mikey..." Donnie began, only to be interrupted.

"How _else_ could I have known about it?" Mikey snapped. "It _wasn't_ on the news and I _couldn't_ have read about it in the paper _before_ it got printed. Explain that, bro!"

Leo and Donnie glanced warily at each other before Donnie tentatively spoke. "It wouldn't be the first time you've claimed to have... precognitive dreams," he suggested. "Maybe there was something to that after all. Beyond the influence of the Y'lyntean crystals."

"Oh, so _now_ you believe me about those? Why now? Just because it gives you a more 'rational explanation' over our brother came back as a spirit to haunt me?" Mikey cried, hurt. Truth be told, he'd had similar dreams more than a few times since then, long after the crystals ran out and even after they'd moved. He'd just never bothered mentioning them since it was Leo who was known to be the psychically sensitive one among them and that if he didn't sense something, then no one else possibly could. Mikey shook his head again. It was obviously pointless to tell them what he thought had been a dream was actually a form of astral projection, considering his history with having trouble concentrating on such things. "I know the difference between those dreams and this. It was _real!_ "

"Then where's the proof?" Leo asked bluntly.

"At this point, Leo, even if it came up and walked right through you, you wouldn't recognise it. You and Don have already made up your minds not to believe and _nothing_ is going to change your minds now." Mikey shrugged off Leo's hand and stood. "But don't worry about me, bro, because I'll be fine now." With that, he stormed off to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

"I'll be fine, now," he repeated in a whisper, "because you came back to me again, Raphie."

-:-

"Hey, Mikey," Raph muttered, barely able to meet Mikey's gaze due to his complete embarrassment. "Uh... about the other day... I..."

"It's okay, Raph," Mikey beamed, happy Raph had finally shown up again four nights later. He bound out of bed over to Raph, throwing his arms around his neck and pulling him close.

"No, it's _not_ okay," Raph shook his head in disgust, trying to pull away from Mikey's octopus-like embrace. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that and I shouldn't 've treated you like an idiot. You might do stupid shit sometimes but that doesn't make you stupid. I just..."

"Shh!" Mikey commanded gently, silencing Raph suddenly with a kiss. Raph managed to pull away a moment later but Mikey reached up with a finger, planting it on his lips to silence him once more before he could say anything. "I get it. You were upset 'cause you couldn't stop that arsehole and blaming yourself."

"Yeah, me, not you, so I shouldn't 've..."

Mikey shook his head. When Raph turned his hatred inward it tended to overflow, accidentally taking out those closest to him also. "I get it, Raphie and I forgive you. Okay?"

Raph blinked in confusion and opened his mouth to speak once more, only to be interrupted yet again.

"If you need to or want to talk about what happened, I'm your turtle but if you want to keep apologising for something you're already forgiven for, then find another chump because I refuse to listen."

For a few moments, Raph stood there, stunned, then he finally began to chuckle. "I don't deserve you, Mike, never did. Dunno how the hell you ever put up with me..."

"Same way you did me, I guess," Mikey snickered with a shrug and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, shell knows how I ever managed that," Raph snorted derisively. "Seriously musta had a screw loose or somethin'."

"Hey!" Mikey cried, trying to stifle his laughter as Raph suddenly threw an arm around his neck, pulling him down into a headlock to give him a noogie, just like old times. " _Ow! Let go! Raaaph!_ " Mikey whined through his laughter. "Stop it!"

"Make me!" Raph retorted playfully and Mikey felt his mouth stretch into a wide grin once more.

About an hour later, the pair had sobered and wandered into Raph's old room. Raph looked about in surprise. "Nothin's changed," he said in wonder.

Mikey shook his head and sat down on the mattress beneath the hammock. Raph joined him. "I wouldn't let them pack anything away because it was nice to be able to come in here and still feel close to you." At Raph's sharp look, Mikey was extremely quick to then add, "I mean, it hurt like hell coming in here but... it also helped, you know? It's not like we can just go up to the farm to visit your grave any time we feel like it, you know, and besides, who've we got to impress down here?"

Raph shook his head in disbelief.

"Hey, so where've you been the last few weeks anyway?"

Raph went silent and stared into the distance. Finally, just as Mikey was about to ask again, he answered. "I was with Sam."

"Sam?"

"Yeah. The woman from the alleyway."

"Oh..." Mikey murmured, eyes suddenly downcast. "How... how is she?"

Raph shook his head. "Not good but she finally started speakin' yesterday."

Mikey clenched his fists where they rested atop his kneepads.

"So... uh... didja hear what happened to the fucker who assaulted her?"

"Yeah..." Mikey replied after a hesitation. "He died."

"I know _that_ much!" Raph snapped impatiently, making Mikey jolt in surprise. "I mean, how'd he die? What killed him?"

Mikey pursed his lips a moment. Then, "Heart attack. They said... it was like something scared him to death or something. Dude died of fright." He shuddered at the memory of that face as it stared sightlessly upwards, contorted in sheer terror as if he'd just seen a hoard of demons coming straight for him.

"I saw his face from the rooftop that night," he admitted in a soft whisper. "It was like something out of a horror movie." An odd light passed through Raph's eyes so fast that Mikey thought perhaps he was seeing things.

"Good!"

Startled by the vehemence, all Mikey could do was stare into Raph's burning gaze.

"Couldn't a happened to a more deservin' person!"

-:-

Mikey hummed cheerfully as he set three places at the table for dinner. It had been a good day today; the best in a long time. After breakfast, an only slightly uneasy affair with Leo and Donnie still being somewhat wary like they had been for the past month, Mikey had approached Leo, asking if he'd mind company for meditation. Knowing what he knew now about just how it was possible for him to meet up with Raph, Mikey wanted to improve on his admittedly sketchy astral skills to make things easier for them both. Surprised and not a little delighted by Mikey's request, Leo welcomed him and to their amazement, Donnie also decided to join the pair soon after.

With concerns a little more assured and thoughts of Mikey actually taking their worries seriously, at last, the three ninja soon moved into practice and sparring. For the first time in ages, Mikey's speed and unpredictability proved too much for Donatello and then, when the pair teamed up against Leo, though they eventually lost, they actually had Leo panting for breath by the end.

Eventually, the brothers split off to go their separate ways for the day but Mikey still felt as though things were good. No loneliness filled his heart for once and somehow, he felt warm and loved as if Raph were beside him the entire time. In fact, his spirit felt so calm that after a time, he began to feel Raph's presence for real, and making sure no one was watching, Mikey began chatting to Raph in soft tones about everything and nothing.

Then he'd gone off to make dinner.

The oven finally dinged and Mikey trotted over to turn it off. Once he had the dishes out and on the racks, he called Leo and Donnie for dinner. Mikey then turned back to the oven long enough to set dessert cooking and began serving the meal. His brothers entered the kitchen and sat as Mikey placed their plates in front of them with a flourish. As he too went to sit down, he paused by Raph's old chair before pulling it out with a smile. Raph may not have been able to eat with them but nothing could stop him from at least joining them.

Leo and Donnie exchanged nervous looks, which Mikey did not miss but he worked to reassure them with light-hearted chatter throughout the meal.

"Don't go, bros!" Mikey suddenly piped up as plates were finally cleared. "Dessert'll be ready in another few minutes."

"It smells good," Leo breathed appreciatively. "It's been a while since you've gone to this much effort, Mikey. What's the occasion?"

Mikey shook his head. "No occasion. I just wanted to spend some quality time with my family, that's all. Think you guys'll be up for a movie or something after?"

"I've got pla..." Donnie began, suddenly trailing off as he noticed Mikey's crestfallen expression. "Actually, I can do that afterwards. What did you have in mind?"

When Mikey told them, Leo smiled sadly. "That sounds like a movie Ra... uh... we would all enjoy," he corrected, ignoring the sharp look Donnie sent his way and instead, searching Mikey's face for any reaction he may have had to Leo's faux pas. However, there seemed to be nothing.

"That's what I thought, bro!" Mikey exclaimed cheerfully, glancing ever so briefly over at Raph's chair, gratified to still feel as though he were sitting there.

The oven chimed again so Mikey jumped up to pull out dessert.

"Apple crumble?" Donnie asked in surprise, raising his eyebrow ridges. "You haven't made that since..."

"Yeah, I know," Mikey agreed easily. "It's about time I made it again, isn't it?" Casting a lingering look at Raph's chair once more, he started with shock. He could have sworn... Mikey shook his head adamantly and blinked. He was still there. Faded and barely visible like a heat mirage on a bitumen highway sat what appeared to be Raph. He smiled broadly as he saw his own surprise mirrored in Raph's face when he realised Mikey actually, really saw him. While awake.

"Besides, I've been craving some for weeks now."

-:-

As the days passed, Mikey continued joining Leo for meditation and excursions to the Astral Plain on a daily basis and it wasn't long before Mikey could see Raph at almost all times and even hold muted conversations with him during waking hours. He had to be careful though, knowing their brothers still worried for him, so he tried to keep such interactions for when there were alone. Unfortunately, no matter how strong their connection became, due to Raph's lack of solidity in the real world, touch could only happen when Mikey dreamed and by then, their touches had become truly ravenous.

"Do you love me?"

Mikey started and whirled his head to take in his ghostly lover as he seemingly leant on the back of the couch he sat on. Aware of Leo's always ready intense gaze, all Mikey managed was a nearly imperceptible nod.

"You know, if you really cared, you'd leave here for a private room or better yet, acknowledge me out here from time to time."

Mikey felt his blood rush to his face.

"Are you okay, Mikey?" Leo asked carefully from where he sat with a book across the room. He'd been asking that question far too often of late for Mikey's liking.

"Huh?" Mikey whipped his head back towards Leo. "Uh, yeah, bro! Just uh, just thought I heard something, that's all."

Raph snorted, sounding quite put out. "Just thought you 'heard somethin'', huh?"

Mikey laughed nervously and continued as if Raph never said anything. "But if you didn't hear anything Leo, I guess it was probably just my imagination."

"I didn't," Leo confirmed simply.

"Oh great, now I'm just your imagination!"

"What? No!" Mikey hissed, glancing back at Raph. "Of course you're not!"

"That's not how you've been actin' lately," Raph retorted, obviously miffed. "Ignorin' me so much whenever someone else's around."

"Come on, be fair," Mikey moaned under his breath. "You know I can't..." Then he jumped as he found Leo's face directly in front of his own, a hand landing to rest lightly on his forehead. Mikey's own hand involuntarily clasped over his heart in fright.

"You don't feel overly warm," Leo stated slowly. Then he sat beside Mikey and regarded him seriously. "You know..." he began hesitantly as Mikey stared, unable to tear his gaze from Leo's.

"Know what?"

Leo sighed reluctantly and leant his shell into the couch beside him, looking directly into Mikey's eyes the whole while. "I have been sensing... something around here lately and it's been slowly getting stronger."

Both Mikey and Raph eyes were immediately glued to Leo's in interest.

"Raph," Mikey breathed softly. Then he straightened and more excitedly, "You've finally started sensing Raph! I knew you could!"

"No..." Leo reluctantly admitted, hesitating once more upon seeing the disappointment filling Mikey's face. He canted his head at Mikey. "I really didn't want to bring this up before now, considering how much you hate the supernatural but with how you've... how things have been of late, I must."

Mikey blinked slowly as he continued watching his brother. It all seemed so surreal.

"Whatever it is I've been sensing, Mikey, it has the taint of evil."

Raph snorted derisively. "Yeah, right, Fearless! Geeze! Splinter Junior here couldn't be any more wrong if he tried!"

Mikey glanced briefly at Raph before exclaiming, "Oh come on, Leo, Raph's not evil! He's just... rebellious and quick to anger. You know that!"

Leo shook his head decisively. "It's not Raph," he replied insistently. "I would know if it was but maybe... whatever it is that I am sensing is masquerading as Raph, trying to get to you. Michelangelo, you _need_ to stop feeding it."

Mikey's jaw dropped and words failed him.

"I know how much you want it to be Raph but please trust me, Mikey. Keep away from it." Mikey's heart began beating a mile a minute as Leo implored him. "Don't talk to it, don't acknowledge it. Do not give it the means to continue to grow stronger. None of us is trained for exorcism or dealing with evil spirits so there's not much we can do other than ignoring it and let it grow weak once more.

"Because if it doesn't, without Master Splinter to guide us, we will be powerless to stop it."

-:-

"Don't tell me you actually believe Leo's bullshit!" Raph exploded once they were alone in Mikey's room a few hours later. "Mikey?" Raph repeated uncertainly when he hesitated.

"Yes! No! I mean... I don't know, Raph, maybe!"

"Seriously? After all we've been through, everything we've done together since I came back, you don't believe I'm really me?" Raph asked in disgust. However, Mikey could sense the hurt seeping out from under the angry bluster and he wished he were astral dreaming so they could touch and he could reassure Raph the best way he knew how. He shook his head.

"It's not that, Raph. I _know_ you're you... it's just..." Mikey faltered, unsure how to explain.

"Just what?" Raph asked coldly.

Mikey shook his head sadly. "I think Leo's right," he replied, wavering in his uncertainty. "There _is_ something evil lurking around... I've been feeling it for the last couple of months. Ever since a couple of days or so after Obon." He turned frightened blue eyes onto Raph, seeking assurance. As long as Raph stayed close and didn't run off, he knew things would be okay.

Raph hesitated a moment more before stepping closer and reaching out as if to embrace, only to baulk at the last moment, frustration clear on his features as he remembered they couldn't actually touch while Mikey was awake. "If you've been feelin' somethin' like that around for so long now, then why the shell didn't you say anythin'?"

Mikey shrugged miserably and stepped around Raph to fall back on his bed. He sat up and looked at Raph, haunted. "Who would have believed me?" he asked softly.

"I would have."

Mikey wanted to laugh but instead forced himself to school his features as he shook his head. Raph scowled fiercely at his reaction.

"If Leo didn't sense anything, then I certainly couldn't have," he pointed out in a defeated tone. "It's always been like that. Anytime I actually did say anything, no one ever believed me and just told me to stop watching so many horror movies. So yeah, no point bothering to say anything."

"No way that's true!" Raph protested hotly.

"It is and you know it!" Mikey paused to take a deep breath. "Just... think back, Raph. Can you honestly remember a single time ever where I've said anything about sensing things without Leo saying something first where the rest of you didn't just dismiss or ridicule me?"

Raph opened his mouth to argue but his mind blanked and no words came out. Finally, defeated, he shook his head and sat down beside Mikey. "I'm sorry, Mike."

"It's fine, I got used to it," Mikey replied hollowly. "I learnt years ago to just pay more attention when it happened, so you know, no harm, no foul,"

"It shouldn't have had to be that way!" Raph bit out viciously, angry over the acceptance. Then he calmed and added sadly, "Never thought it really bothered you when we made fun o' you. After all, you made fun of us, too."

"Most of the time, it didn't," Mikey admitted quietly. "It was only when I was actually being serious and no one listened. That's when it hurt."

"Hey, I didn't..." Raph swallowed apprehensively, "I didn't treat you that way after we got together, did I?"

"Nope," Mikey confirmed. "Never had the chance. By then I'd long learned to keep that stuff to myself."

Raph gawked at Mikey in horror over the admission. "You shoulda... Mikey! I thought you _knew_ you could open up to me about stuff!"

"I did! I do! But... some habits are just really hard to break, bro." Raph's jaw worked in anger and Mikey fought not to flinch back at the menacing sight. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Raph. I really..."

"For fuck's sake, Mikey!" Raph exploded, suddenly on his feet again. "I thought we were stronger than that!"

"We were! We _are!_ " Mikey corrected quickly. He stood and reached out desperately to Raph, faltering with his hand only centimetres from Raph's biceps. "I..."

His anger having taken ahold, Raph lashed out to sweep Mikey's hand away, then he froze in horror, realising what he'd just tried to do. Uncertain, he looked into Mikey's eyes expecting them to be full of hurt or fear but there was only confusion and a small amount of wonder as he stared down at Raph's hand. "Mi... Mikey?" Raph stuttered after a moment.

Mikey looked up from his still motionless hand. "I felt that Raphie," he said softly. "It wasn't solid or anything but kinda like whenever we've walked through the humans when we've been out at night but... different."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out at you."

Mikey shook his head dismissively. "Do it again," he demanded.

"What?" Raph asked blankly.

"Touch me again," Mikey breathed raggedly. "Like you did during Obon when I couldn't see you yet."

Hesitantly, Raph reached out to ghost his hand over Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey smiled and stretched up onto tiptoes, forcing the ghostly contact closer and deeper. "It feels really weird but a good kinda weird. Kinda like a static shock but without the shock." Then his smile turned mischievous. "Guess this means when I tease you, you can actually be more hands-on from now on."

For a moment, Raph continued to stare incredulously. Then his own smile grew as the implications hit.

-:-

"You could save me, ya know, Mikey."

"Hmm?" Mikey questioned, distracted by the fight in the online game he was playing.

"From all this, I mean."

Without thinking, Mikey stopped playing only to be cut down by his opponent to pay more attention to his ghostly lover. He looked up with worried blue eyes as Raph paced anxiously nearby. "You don't... want to be here anymore?" he asked plaintively. "I mean, it makes sense and all. It's gotta suck not being able to touch whatever you want or talk to anyone other than me but I thought you were okay with it because of us." Then he sighed miserably. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm being selfish."

"Nuh, I'm the one that's bein' selfish. This isn't enough, I want more," Raph stated simply. "I want to be able to flaunt it to the world that even death can't keep us apart! That we're meant to be together. Well, to Leo, Donnie and our friends at least." Then Raph smirked. "Be nice to scare the shit outta some Dragons or Foot in the bargain too."

Mikey smiled sadly. He wished they could do that too.

"You know how sometimes I have to go away for a bit and don't come back for a few hours?"

Mikey nodded numbly. He knew and felt the separation painfully whenever it happened, no matter how briefly it lasted. However, he'd never begrudge Raph that precious alone time he'd always so desperately needed on occasion.

"Well, I've met others while out and about."

"You have?" Mikey asked in surprise. He bounced up onto his knees with interest. "Who've you met? What're they like? Could I meet any of them?"

Raph pulled a disgusted face. "Trust me, bro, you don't wanna meet some of the things I've seen out there. You'd never sleep again."

"They can't _all_ be bad," Mikey pouted, "or you wouldn't be so conversational about it now."

Raph chuckled lightly. "Got me there. Still, I don't want you exposed to some of what's out there. The more you are, the more'll become interested in you."

"But it's alright for you?" Mikey snorted in disbelief, crossing his arms as he leant back on his haunches. "I hope you aren't trying to baby me just because you dudes think of me as the youngest or something."

"Heaven forbid I ever try to do that!" Raph retorted dryly. "You'd never shut up about it if I tried!"

"Damn right!" Mikey replied smugly as he relaxed some.

"Anyway, point is, I've heard stuff. Apparently, there's one chance a year that the dead can be brought back. If it's done right."

"Yeah, Obon. We already knew that," Mikey replied with excessive patience.

"Nuh, Obon's just about bringin' spirits, souls, back home for a visit. I'm talkin' about comin' back properly, permanently."

Mikey felt a chill race down the back of his shell at the strangely ominous words.

"To life."

He stared up at Raph, wanting, _needing_ to know more and yet... his instincts screamed at him not to listen to anymore.

"An' that night's comin' up soon.

Mikey jumped to his feet, knocking the controller to the floor with a loud clatter. He wanted Raph back for real more than anything if he could but... instinctively he knew he didn't want to hear _this_. "I... I gotta go," he stammered, immediately turning and rushing for the toilet. Raph wouldn't follow him in there, he knew and maybe, _maybe_ , if he took long enough... they'd be able to drop the subject.

-:-

"We never got to finish our conversation earlier," Raph stated when Mikey finished sparring with Leo later that day.

Mikey tossed Raph a surreptitious glance and mouthed 'Not now,'; Leo was far too close for comfort.

Raph scowled. "This is important, Mikey. There's less than a week until Halloween, our _only_ chance."

Mikey did his level best to ignore him while still in earshot of Leo. "Not now, bro!" he hissed under his breath. "You'll make them worry about me again!"

"Did you say something, Mikey?"

"Huh? Uh, no! I was just trying to decide what to make for dinner," Mikey smiled innocently, wishing like shell Leo couldn't see just how nervous he was.

"Oh, in that case, could you make something with rice tonight?" Leo requested, a small frown on his face.

Mikey cringed inwardly, realising Leo didn't quite believe him. Thankfully though, he didn't press the issue. Mikey nodded, "Sure, dude," he replied cheerily, heading straight for the kitchen.

Once inside and sure Leo wasn't at the door listening, as he was wont to do at times, Mikey whirled on Raph. "Can you _please_ stop trying to get me to talk when Leo or Donnie are around? You know they're already worried enough about my state of mind!"

Raph snorted, "An' how is that any different to any other time in our lives? You know you've always come across as odd," he teased.

Mikey fixed Raph with a level stare, trying not to smile at the old joke between them. "Eccentric. I'm eccentric, not odd. Remember? Does being an undead ghost make you forget the important stuff?"

"As if! An' speakin' of important, just how much _do_ you actually love me?"

Mikey canted his head in confusion. Raph had been asking that a lot of late, despite how often he told him. "With all my heart and soul. You know that Raphie," he said gently, reaching up a hand to skim his lover's ghostly face. "I'd do anything for you."

"Including bringing me back properly so we can really be together?"

"If it was in my power, yeah, of course," Mikey admitted immediately. "Unfortunately, I'm not some mad scientist from a B movie so I can't do that. Neither can Donnie, by the way."

"Yeah, Don's got no chance," Raph agreed derisively, "but you, you can, Mike," he added softly, reaching out to gently caress his face.

Mikey stiffened. "Don't tease me like that, Raph," he begged. "You've got no idea how much I wish it was true."

"I'm not teasin'. I was tryin' to tell you earlier. If the love of someone livin' is strong and pure enough, it can be done."

His heart aching with fear, need, desperation and love, Mikey finally relented, knowing he couldn't avoid this after all. No matter how much the idea of messing with such forces terrified him.

"On Halloween," Raph continued, making Mikey realise he was still talking. "You know better 'an anyone else I know that the veil between worlds is thinnest that day. Find an excuse to go to the farm before then. You'll be able to bring me back forever if you do."

-:-

"I didn't wanna bring this up," Raph began reluctantly, making Mikey jump with the realisation Raph was finally back from wherever he'd disappeared to. He glanced across the room to where Donnie sat reading some research paper that fascinated him alone while supposedly watching him, then up at Raph, canting his head ever so slightly to show he was listening. "But you and Leo were right," he finished, sounding morbidly unhappy over the declaration.

"About what?" Mikey asked, then choking slightly, as he hurriedly covered himself when he caught Donnie looking up at him suspiciously. "How about some water? I want some, do you, Donnie?" Damn, but he hated the scrutiny his brothers were giving him of late. They worried too much instead of simply listening to him and giving the benefit of the doubt.

"No thank you."

"Okay, well, I'm getting a glass," Mikey spoke up cheerfully. "I'll be right back!" He jumped to his feet and waltzed easily towards the kitchen, knowing Raph would follow and hoping like shell Donnie wouldn't.

"What were we right about, Raph?" he asked in a soft tone when he saw no sign of being followed.

Refusing to meet Mikey's gaze, Raph looked in every other direction possible instead. "About there bein' somethin' evil lurking," Raph finally admitted unhappily.

Mikey stared at Raph warily, "You said you believed me when I told you."

"I did but I didn't want to upset you by admitting I'd seen it at the time."

With a chill racing down his spine, Mikey fearfully asked, "You'd seen it and didn't tell me?"

Raph nodded shamefully.

"So what changed? Why are you finally admitting it now?"

Sighing reluctantly, Raph sat on the table and glumly admitted, "It's been huntin' me. Hasn't made a move yet, only been givin' me a countdown."

Mikey's blood froze in his veins.

"It's comin' for me tomorrow so I gotta go. I don't want you seein' what's to come or gettin' caught up in it."

"Raph?" Mikey half squeaked, half choked.

"Hey, don't worry, I ain't goin' down without a damn good fight," Raph added with a feral grin, trying to sound reassuring; trying to make him believe everything would be okay.

It didn't work.

Mikey shook his head rapidly in denial as he stepped closer to Raph, blocking him from just getting up and leaving. He wished he could physically grab hold of Raph too. "No way! I'm not letting you go like this! There's gotta be a way to stop it from getting you!"

"There isn't," Raph replied flatly. He looked up at Mikey with resignation. "I know you haven't seen any spirits around here other than me and there's a good reason for that. That... thing feeds once a year; it's well known throughout the spirit world. We all know that we can't afford to get caught out here in the livin' world because there's no escapin' it if it catches the... the scent... of a spirit. There're only two ways to stay safe. Return to the spirit world, an' that's impossible because I lost the way back..."

'My fault,' Mikey thought guiltily. "And?" he finally prompted, trying to keep the fear from his voice and failing.

"To be alive." Raph smiled sadly. "So I'm sorry, Mikey but I gotta go."

"No... you can't," Mikey whispered. His heart beat wildly in terror from the realisation that if this happened, that if the evil entity he'd been sensing caught hold of Raph, he'd never see him again. Not even when he eventually joined him in death; because he'd have been lost forever by then.

"I'm really sorry, Mikey," Raph repeated, reaching up tenderly for Mikey's face. "Hey, just do me one favour, okay? Don't astral project anymore, okay? Especially on Halloween or it'll target you too since your soul'll be unprotected." Shifting his ghostly hand to cup Mikey's cheek with the barest hint of static sensation, he then stood and leant forward to kiss Mikey chastely on the lips. When it was over, Raph stepped away, turning to leave.

"Raph, _wait!_ " Mikey cried; he couldn't let Raph out of his sight. Not now! When Raph turned back to regard him for one last time, Mikey's resolve hardened.

"Tell me what I have to do."

-:-

* * *

Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.

* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.


	3. Chapter 3

Cover Art by the amazing sampsonknight and can be found in its full size on her profile on Deviant Art.

* * *

 **Appearances**

Ch 3

Expecting his brothers to be waiting for him angrily, Mikey reluctantly drove the Battleshell back into the garage as the automatic door closed behind with a final-sounding thunk, causing him to flinch visibly.

"Will you relax already? It's fine! They're asleep," Raph remarked irritably from the passenger seat next to him.

"Maybe," Mikey replied guiltily, parking the vehicle in its usual place. It had to be done, he knew, but he couldn't help wishing he hadn't needed to spike their drinks to be certain they slept solidly through the night; he couldn't risk them wondering where he was and tracking him down to discover him desecrating their brother's grave.

"It'll be okay, Mikey," Raph added in a softer voice, reaching out to comfort him with a hand ghosting his shoulder. "Yeah, sure, they'll be pissed when they realise what you did but just think how happy they'll be in the end when I'm finally back. As a family, we'll finally be whole again and you an' I'll be together forever."

"Yeah, I know," Mikey admitted with a small smile, relieved he wasn't alone through this. "Still, I gotta admit bro, I _don't_ like this. So much could go wrong playing with supernatural forces like this."

"Eh, you've just watched way too many horror movies."

"Maybe but maybe _you_ haven't watched enough," Mikey countered. "Besides, I'm not just going on movies. Most of that's just bogus Hollywood make-believe."

"If it's not just movies an' you know they're fake, then why worry so much?" Raph asked with a perplexed frown. He watched as Mikey unclipped his seatbelt and climbed past to the back of the van.

"I read, dude!" Mikey retorted in an offended tone. "And Don's not the only one who knows how to research, you know." He flashed a quick smile up at Raph, trying to hide the disgust curling at his beak from the stench wafting from the body at his feet. There was definitely a reason he'd had the window down all the way home, despite the chill of the autumn air. He began coughing and choking and reached up to grab his mask tails, turning them into a makeshift-breathing filter. "Man Raphie, you're so lucky you can't smell how bad you smell!"

Raph snorted and lightly swiped the back of Mikey's head. Mikey shot him a betrayed look and uttered a reflexive " _Ow!_ "

"Oh that did not hurt, you big baby," Raph shot back, rolling his eyes. "I can't even really touch you."

"It's the principle of the matter," Mikey complained petulantly. He stuck his tongue out between the pieces of orange cloth and choked again. "Ugh! Gross! Bad enough I can smell it but now I can _taste_ it!"

"Whaddaya expect? Been dead like eight months now." Raph grumbled in annoyance. "Sorry, I wish I could help you carry me," he muttered as Mikey crouched to lift his decaying corpse from where it lay half wrapped in an old blanket. He watched in mild disgust as something living fell off and scuttled away.

"Uh, Raph? Don't look too closely, okay?" Mikey warned as he stood again. He made for the side door of the van, stretching out to press the open button with a toe.

"Few bugs won't bother me," Raph shrugged nonchalantly.

Mikey shot Raph an incredulous look as he stepped from the van. "After all those times I snuck bugs into your bed or spare pads and stuff growing up?"

"Long as they're gone when I'm back. I ain't sharin' my body with somethin' with more legs than me," Raph chuckled quickly. He jumped out to land beside Mikey.

"Heh! Yeah, I guess. Dude, this is so gross!" Mikey moaned loudly, cringing for the millionth time since first starting to dig up the grave at the farm. "Uh... no offence, Raphie."

"None taken," Raph replied dryly.

Mikey sighed. "I hope you know I wouldn't do this for anyone else," he grumbled unhappily as he led the way through the lair to his bedroom. As they walked he fell silent, unwilling to risk waking anyone since there was no way they'd ever understand no matter how much he tried to explain.

Finally, upon reaching his room with his decomposing burden, Mikey toed the door shut behind them.

"Put me on the bed," Raph commanded, motioning towards it.

Nodding wordlessly and trying to hide his cringe at the thought of rotting flesh, bone and shell on his bed, Mikey did as Raph bade, then looked up at him.

"What now?"

"This is gonna take most of the day so get whatever you need, food, water, somethin' to piss into, then barricade the room. We can't let Leo and Donnie stop us."

-:-

Sometime later, Mikey had dragged his bed to the centre of the room, drawn a chalk pentagram as per Raph's instructions and chanted the spell he'd been given.

"What now?" he asked again, nervously. A slight glow of energy surrounded his lover's corpse but little other change had occurred.

Raph took a deep breath that he didn't currently need. "Now I merge my spirit with my body. That'll give me some protection when the demon comes huntin' by hidin' me and it also allows my body and spirit to start rejoinin' properly. The sucky part is that it'll be harder for me to talk with you until the spell's had a chance to start workin' somewhat. Meanwhile, I know this'll be hard on you considerin' uh... what my body looks like right now but you gotta give the spell power and energy to work with."

" _What?_ "

Raph smiled at him and Mikey swallowed at the wanton look in his eyes. "The power of love. That's what's gonna heal my body and bring me back. You gotta prove your love for it to work."

"You didn't mention any of that," Mikey said softly. He stared anxiously down at the rotted body atop his blankets and swallowed.

"Will that be a problem or don't you love me enough to do this?"

"No!" Mikey shook his head emphatically. "I can do it, it's just..."

"Look, Mikey, don't worry, okay? The more you empower the spell, the more I'll rejoin and the less gross it'll be. You can see my spirit now, right?"

Mikey nodded.

"Well, you'll be able to see me in there, too."

"Ye... yeah. Okay." Mikey swallowed and continued to stare at the remains of Raphael laid out upon his bed.

"And every hour, on the hour, you gotta repeat the spell."

Mikey looked up at Raph fearfully as he reached out to caress his cheek.

"You can do this, Michelangelo. Remember, you're the _only_ one who can save me at this point."

Mikey nodded, determination filling him alongside nausea at the thought of climbing onto the bed beside a months old, decayed cadaver to prove his love. "Would it... hurt the spell if I lit a scented candle at least?" he hoped, wanting to try to at least partially disguise the smell.

Raph smiled gently as he let his hand drop and floated towards his deceased physical form. "Wouldn't know but do you really wanna chance it after all this?"

Shaking his head, Mikey watched as Raph's spirit began to sink into his body, creating a weird double image where both rotten flesh and bone lay covered by translucent ghost. Swallowing his trepidation and disgust as best he could – that _was_ Raph in there, his soul mate who he'd do anything for – Mikey climbed onto the bed and snuggled into his brother, extending all the loving feelings and emotions he had to give.

-:-

Leo woke well after midday, his head and body feeling unusually heavy and unresponsive. He swallowed painfully, wincing over how dry his mouth and throat felt and forced himself from the bed. After dealing with his morning ablutions and getting a drink, he wandered the lair, trying to shake the unusual fuzziness afflicting his mind and body as he attempted to discover just why everything felt so wrong.

No sign of life filled the lair, strange considering the late hour; normally all three of them would long be up and about, finishing off their minimum daily training by now. Since it was closest to the kitchen and Donnie often slept in there whether deliberately or accidentally, Leo headed to the lab first. Seeing Donnie slumped over his desk, dead to the world, Leo raced over to shake him awake, swearing as his foot crunched down on something sharp and painful. As his brother stirred, Leo lifted his foot to examine the damage, dismayed to find a piece of broken mug embedded within and blood seeping liberally from the wound.

For a moment, Donnie stared muzzily before reaching out to look closer. "Up on the bench, Leo," he croaked tiredly. He glanced at the ground where Leo had stood, tsking at the remains of his favourite mug, then pushing away, wheeled his chair towards the first aid kit kept in the lab for emergencies.

"Not like you to do something like this, Leo. You're usually so observant about your environment," Donnie chided gently once he finished cleaning the wound. As Leo watched, Donnie reached out for a sterilised needle and thread to stitch the wound closed with.

Shaking his head, Leo admitted, "I just can't seem to clear my head this afternoon, Don. I think I might be coming down with something." He smiled wanly. "I can't believe I slept so late."

"I can," Donnie replied warily. "I don't think you're coming down with anything because I feel the same way. In fact, it's like I've been drugged with an overly large dose of a soporific substance. I wouldn't be surprised if you were too."

Leo's gaze narrowed at the revelation. It wasn't that he'd never experienced sleeping aid before but he'd certainly never felt this way afterwards. He pulled out his Shell-cell, turning on the tracking system; there was only one person who'd been around the previous day that could have done this without them realising but he couldn't understand why. Seeing all three signals in close proximity, he dialled Mikey as Donnie continued treating his injury.

After several rings, " _Ye... yeah, dude? What's up?"_ the answering voice croaked.

"Where are you?"

" _'n bed,"_ Mikey mumbled, sounding almost dopey on the other end. " _Sorry, Leo, but I don't feel too good so 'm just gonna stay here for t'day."_

Leo glanced at Donnie to see him looking back with a frown.

"Okay. Well, Don will come check on you soon, to make sure you're okay."

" _Uh... I'd rather he didn't, bro. I don't..."_

"Don't what?" Leo asked sharply.

There was a sick sounding half chuckle over the line. " _Don' really wanna get out of bed to unblock the door. I think there was something wrong with the pizza I ordered last night. Kept seeing weird things,"_ Mikey laughed nervously. " _I kinda freaked out and blocked my door to stop them getting in."_

Leo sighed in resignation. "In that case, Mikey, you _really_ need to let us in. If there was something wrong with the pizza and it made you sick or worse, we need to make sure you're alright."

" _Sorry, bro, feel too tired and awful to drag myself out of bed. Promise I will later when I've slept it off more. G'night."_ Then the line fell silent before Leo could force the issue.

Trying to give Mikey the benefit of the doubt, Leo raised his eyebrow ridges at Donnie. "Do you think it could have been the pizza?"

Donnie shrugged. "If it was, there is nothing left over to test. However, no, I don't think it was. As far as we know, none of our enemies know where we order from and there's no reason for whoever prepared it to do such a thing and risk losing customers and their jobs that I know of. Besides..."

"Don?" Leo prompted worried.

"If it was the pizza, then why did you and I have different reactions to Mikey? No, I think it's more likely to do with whatever has been afflicting him in these last couple of months."

"If you're right and I think you are, then why would he drug us and pretend to be affected himself? What is he up to?"

"I don't know, Leo." Donnie hesitated a moment, unsure whether or not to continue. Then, steeling himself, admitted, "I'm terrified Mikey's losing his grip on reality and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."

-:-

As the afternoon wore on towards evening, Leo and Donnie tried multiple times to get Mikey to open his door but to no avail. He either outright ignored them, feigning sleep, or claimed to still feel too bad to get out of bed. That left the brothers resorting to picking the lock, only to find the door barricaded and unable to be budged like Mikey had told them. Donnie then tried squeezing a miniature camera under the door to try to get a look at the situation on the other side but was forced to give up as it hit an obstacle before clearing it.

Worried for their brother and disturbed by the terrible fetor of decay wafting from the room, reminiscent of the faint smell permeating the lair, Leo lingered by the door, trying to alternatively entreat or command Mikey to come out. More than once, he heard the faint murmurings of one-sided conversation from within and though he couldn't make out the words, the tone spoke of intense love, desire and delusion, and unable to get inside, it was with a heavy heart that Leo retired to the Zen room to meditate, in hopes a solution to the dilemma would come to him.

-:-

Mikey stared at Raph in worry. Over the course of the day, they'd come so far, so close. Raph's decayed body had visibly healed and fleshed out and his spirit was now attached once more. His skin, however, was still pale as death and no breath flowed from his lungs, his nostrils – kissing him was like kissing a flaccid fish – and no heart beat in his cold plastron.

"This isn't working fast enough; we're running out of time!" Mikey breathed desperately, a hand resting on his lover's chest.

Raph's lips didn't move, couldn't move, but Mikey heard his voice faintly from within the body anyway. "I've got faith in you, Mikey. You just need to finish off the spell, give it a final burst of power."

"What? How?" Mikey blanched faintly. He was so tired, so drained; he couldn't remember the last time he felt so weak. Honestly, despite how much he wanted Raph back, he wasn't sure how much more he had to give.

"It's waiting for me over in the corner."

Mikey glanced up to see a menacing shadow waiting in the corner where his closet normally sat and his heart clenched in fear.

"It'll come for me if you don't finish the spell and I'll be helpless and trapped, unable to fight back."

" _But how?_ " Mikey asked desperately. "There's only minutes left and you still aren't... fully back."

"Prove your love. Give me your heart and soul," Raph persuaded in a honeyed voice. "Recite the spell one last time as you fuck me at midnight."

"But... you're still dead!" Mikey protested, his earlier nausea returning tenfold. "That's like necro..."

"It's the only way, Michelangelo!" Raph interjected desperately. "Or would you rather that demon consume my soul?"

"No..." Mikey whimpered. "But still..." He didn't want to do this and yet... he couldn't lose Raph forever. Not again.

"It'll be okay," Raph breathed huskily. A ghostly finger twitched from within the corpse, making it almost look like his flesh and blood finger moving and Mikey found his attention fixated on the proof that they were so close. "If you time it just right, at midnight, then I'll finally be back and we'll be together forever.

"You're the only one who _can_ save me, Mikey," Raph breathed, his reminder sending a shiver down Mikey's shell. "I'm counting on you."

-:-

"..tta save Mik.., Le. ..eas., .. .egging you."

Leo's eyes shot open as he bound to his feet, already bolting towards the hanging cloth door. Within moments, he raced into the lab, eyes passing over the clock and shock filling him as he realised how many hours had passed. "Don," Leo gasped out hoarsely. "We have to break into Mikey's room and get him out now! I don't care how!"

Donnie nodded. "I've been considering that for..."

" _Now_ , Don!" Leo repeated. There was no time to stop and listen to Donnie's explanation; _Mikey needed them now!_ He whirled on his feet, sprinting for the bedrooms. Leo gasped as Mikey's door came into view. A thick miasma rolled from it in visceral waves, crashing sickeningly against Leo's soul and making him want to be sick.

How the shell did he miss this before now?

No, that was wrong. He'd had the vague sense of it for weeks now and never been able to find anything when deliberately searching. Unfortunately, it had obviously grown much stronger in the hours he spent looking for answers.

Leo shook his head as the sound of Mikey's desperate and scared voice reached his hearing.

"Michelangelo!" Leo called loudly. "Open this door right now!"

There was no response but the voice inside the room continued with a sharp, " _How_?"

"Michelangelo!" Leo pounded at the door. There was still no reply and Leo couldn't control the shiver that raced down his spine. There was no more time to wait for Donnie. He steeled himself and launched at the door, slamming his weight into it with his shoulder leading the charge. Leo winced at the pain shooting through him from the contact with the unyielding door and braced himself to try again.

And again.

And again.

"Move aside, Leo."

Leo glanced up to see Donnie striding purposefully toward him, calmly carrying, "A Triceraton blaster?"

"A _modified_ Triceraton blaster," Donnie corrected, a tight, brief smile lighting on his face. "It's something I've been working on and off on for years," he explained, stopping well short of the door to take careful aim. Leo quickly stepped aside.

"I've modified it for disintegration. Unfortunately, it doesn't yet work as intended on dense materials such as metals and the concrete the bricks down here are made of without causing them to explode, which is dangerous due to the risk of raining debris. It will, however, work well enough for our purposes on a wooden door and whatever is directly behind it."

"And if Mikey is too close?" Leo asked hesitantly; it didn't sound to him as though he was, however...

Donnie shook his head as he pressed the trigger. "That won't matter." Leo opened his mouth to protest the callous statement but Donnie continued. "That's one of the things I've been working on. It won't work on living flesh," he explained as the beam flashed out, splashing onto the door. Donnie slowly adjusted his aim to cover the entire door, running it slowly from top to bottom.

Leo watched critically as the wood appeared to burst into flames momentarily, before simply turning to dust.

"Probably." The tight smile was back on Donnie's face, his eyes worried as he used the alien weapon.

"Probably?" Leo echoed, trying _very_ hard for the word not to come out as an undignified squawk.

"Like I said, I've been working on it." The door completely gone now, revealed the wardrobe behind; a heavy wooden structure they'd once found at the dump with a door missing and the railing inside broken. It had been heavy work hauling it back but Mikey had been excited, envisioning filling it with shelving and cubicles for his gear and art supplies, among other things. Donnie turned the beam onto it and winced as the ray destroyed the back, before going to work on the inner contents. It wasn't long before a large enough gap existed for the two brothers to push their way through and out the front. The sight that greeted them as they stepped into the room horrified them.

There, upon the bed, Mikey sat straddling atop the source of the funk in the air, the rotting corpse of what appeared to have once been a rather large mutant turtle.

Leo felt his stomach churn viciously as he watched his brother passionately kissing the lifeless cadaver, their plastrons grinding together noisily. A strange dark glow suffused the pair, flowing from Michelangelo into their dead brother, and around the bed, darkly lit lines shone upwards in the form of a large pentagram marked on the floor.

"Michelangelo!" Leo called sharply the moment he gained his wits back. "What the shell are you doing?"

But like when he'd called from outside the room, there was no answer. Leo didn't bother to wait any longer. He dashed forward, wincing at the strange and painful sensations biting into his soul as he passed through the lines.

Once inside, he faltered. He could now see Raphael's corpse seething with energy and newly formed flesh that he couldn't see from the outside. Then feeling the pure evil emanating from it, Leo shook his head as if to clear it and closed the distance, planting a single foot on the dead body and both hands on Mikey and ripped them apart.

Mikey gasped, suddenly aware of something besides his lover. He turned wild, frightened eyes on Leo in shock. "Leo? How'd you... What are you doing?" he panicked. He glanced beyond Leo to Raph unmoving on the bed. "Please, I... I know how this looks but you can't stop me," he begged desperately, trying to tug away from his brother. "I'm bringing Raph back to us!"

"That thing is _not_ Raph," Leo retorted sharply, unable to believe that Mikey was so deluded from the truth. "Look at it, Mikey. _Really_ look at it!"

Mikey's jaw dropped in disbelief at the vehemence coming from Leo and his gaze flitted back and forth from Raph, wantonly waiting for him, to Leo and back. "Of _course_ it's Raph. It's his body and his spirit is inside, trying to return to life and I'm helping him!" He yanked himself from Leo's grasp and tried darting around him to get back to the bed and his lover. Leo quickly sidestepped to stop him, grabbing him once more to stop him from simply vaulting over the top.

"Why don't you look at him yourself, Leo," Mikey begged frantically, trying to escape Leo's iron grasp once more. "He's almost back! His flesh has reformed, his soul is anchored back in his body and last I felt, his heart was just beginning to beat again. I only _need_ a few more minutes!"

"I told you already. That thing is _not_ our brother! Raph is _gone!_ That is some kind of demon or evil spirit simply masquerading as our brother to dupe _you_ into giving it access to the real world, Michelangelo!"

"No, it's not! I know Raph and he's been with me since Obon!" Mikey desperately tried to explain, still refusing to give in, still struggling to break free, to get back and finish what he started. "Please, Leo, just trust me! That _is_ Raphael. You're right though, there _is_ something else here and if I can't bring Raph back in time, it'll take him and then Raph really _will_ be gone. Forever!" Mikey gasped despairingly.

Leo's heart sank as he looked sadly at his clearly delusional brother, wishing he _could_ afford to believe him but that desperate cry for help earlier and his own senses screamed otherwise. He readjusted his grip to compensate for Mikey's continuous twisting and fighting.

"I've only got until midnight to save him! If I can't, we'll _never_ be together again, not even in the afterlife!" Mikey cried, wrenching himself away even harder and nearly causing Leo to lose his grip.

Suddenly sensing danger behind him, Leo reacted instinctively, fiercely pushing Mikey backwards through the pentagonal barrier and into Donatello's worried, waiting arms, trusting him to keep Mikey safe. Then he turned, whipping his swords from their sheaths as the demon controlling their brother's body launched at him.

" _Raph!_ "

"Mikey, _please_ stop fighting me."

" _I can't! I have to get back in there to Raph! Let me go!_ "

Leo ignored the continuing cries of his living brothers as he worked to defend himself. He grimaced in self-disgust as he slashed mercilessly into 'Raph's' arm, hating how much the thing looked like his dead sibling. Sidestepping swiftly to the side and back, Leo followed through with a powerful turning kick with his leading foot which 'Raph' blocked using his still good arm. The demon ploughed ahead into him like a runaway train, the same as Raphael would have done in life as somewhere a clock began to chime, sending another shiver through Leo.

" _Raph! Hold on, I'm coming! Just... hold on!_ " Mikey screamed hysterically from behind.

"Mikey, will you please stop fighting me. I don't want to incapacitate you," Donnie pleaded desperately.

" _Let me go! I have to..._ "

The flesh on 'Raph's' arm was already healing, fuelled by the energy coursing within the pentagram. The monster glared fiercely at Leo, eyes aglow as he stabbed his sais straight at Leo's throat. Leo bobbed into a low stance, avoiding the vicious thrust. He slid to 'Raph's' side and attacked with a forceful snap kick to the back of 'Raph's' knee, knocking him to the ground. Reacting instantly, 'Raph' turned his fall into a roll, returning straight back to his feet. He looked desperately past Leo to Mikey. Leo risked a glance back, seeing his brother now laying helplessly on the ground, Donnie standing before him, bo held at the ready to defend if need be. 'Raph' reached out a pleading three-fingered hand towards Mikey.

" _Help me..._ " he begged.

The clock continued to chime, sonorous and slow.

"I'm sorry, Raph, I'm... trying but I can't move," Mikey whimpered, his voice full of pain and regret.

"Leave my family alone, Demon!" Leonardo spat furiously, drawing the monster's attention back to him. It's face hardened. "You have no business in the living realm!"

Unable to pass through the barrier of dark light, the only thing keeping him animated, 'Raph' bared sharp fangs at Leo, then attacked him once more. "If I can't have him, I'll take you with me instead!" it snarled viciously, showing its true colours at last. "I'll at least feast on one soul this night! It's just a shame yours won't be as sweet!"

Leo's gaze narrowed and he shifted his grip imperceptibly on his weapons. "You won't have any of us," he stated coldly. "Go back to the hole you crawled out of and never darken this place again!" Then moving faster than he ever had in his life, Leo swung with both katana and 'Raphael' fell.

" _Raph!_ " Mikey screamed, his voice breaking piteously.

The demon began to rise once more as the bell tolled, its true nature now clear to Leo's eyes as its form shifted and roiled.

"That's... _how?_ " Donnie gasped, horrified by the sight.

It lurched drunkenly towards Leo.

"Get out of the pentagram, Leo! Hurry!" Donnie snapped anxiously.

Leo shook his head. "I can't. I have to kill it first!"

"It can't leave the pentagram, Leo!" Donnie insisted. "Get out now!"

Leo dodged backwards.

"Think about it! It wants _Mikey_! If it could have left, it would have simply gone for him rather than turning on _you!_ "

Leonardo hesitated for but the slightest moment. He'd seen the frustration and fury at being thwarted in its gaze; Donnie was right. Leo immediately raced for the nearest wall of the barrier when skeletal hands with rotting flesh grasped his shell, pulling him back with a monstrous strength born of desperation and intense desire for revenge. Leo let loose with a powerful back kick and whirled about, katana cutting through the arms still holding him and kicked the demon away. Then he jumped back through the barrier as the clock struck for the final time.

The thing in the pentagram howled in rage, pain, hatred as it collapsed, lifeless. A dark energy floated up, dissipating into the air.

Mikey stared up from where he lay paralysed, horrified. Then he turned hate-filled eyes on Leo and Donnie as Leo slowly approached. "We've lost him forever now!" he spat angrily, voice breaking with grief.

"Mikey," Leo began softly. "We'd already lost him, months ago when he died trying to save a someone." Raph had been out alone that night when he came across a gang rape. Naturally, he'd tried to stop the vile act and as he was dealing with the last of them, a police officer, lured by the terrified cries, had shot and killed him, mistaking him for the perpetrator. The remainder of them had worked quickly to steal Raph's body back from the authorities, only just managing to get away as Bishop turned up to claim it.

"That was some kind of demon out to take advantage of your..."

" _Shut up, Leo! Just shut up!"_ Mikey screamed, blinded by pain. "Why couldn't you just _trust_ me when I tried telling you he was back?" he sobbed.

"Mikey..." Donnie began helplessly.

" _No! Get out of my room! Both of you!_ "

Leo and Donnie exchanged impotent looks. Then sorrowfully, Donnie moved towards Mikey and crouched down, reaching for a nerve cluster in his neck.

" _Don't touch me!_ " he hissed furiously.

"I was just going to reverse the pressure point," Donnie defended himself sadly.

"Let it wear off on its own!" Mikey bit out bitterly. "I don't want you touching me! Now get out and leave me alone!"

"We can't do that, Mikey," Leo explained softly. "You can't stay in here with..." he fell silent as he glanced over at the rotten remains littering the floor and part of Mikey's bed.

Mikey glared fiercely, unshed tears glittering in rage-filled eyes.

"You'll get sick if you do," Donnie added gently. Then, ignoring Mikey's wishes, reached out and pressed on the pressure point, undoing the paralysis he'd inflicted on his brother during the battle Leo fought. "We're so sorry it came to this. I..."

But Mikey sprang to his feet, knocking Donnie backwards and stormed from the room, straight to Raph's old room. He slammed the door loudly and locked it behind him.

-:-

* * *

Egyptian Rose - Thank you :-) Oh but Mikey was being led on, hehe. Trouble is, necromancy is taboo in so many stories/religions etc and for very good reasons and Mikey knew this. You never know what will come back with the original person, _if_ they even come back at all. Explanations will come in the next and final chapter

Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.

* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.


	4. Chapter 4

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.

Warnings: This story contains disturbing content, T-cest, language and potential trigger warnings. You have been warned.

Summary: 'Mikey hesitated, then shrugged; it was only a dream, after all. "I don't want to wake up," he explained simply.' After the final ceremony of Obon goes terribly wrong, Mikey begins dreaming of his lost love. Soon, he only knows one thing for certain, the danger is real and his brothers don't believe him.

Comments, thoughts and concrit are always welcome.

* * *

 **Appearances**

Ch 4 - Epilogue

Leo sighed miserably. "He hasn't spoken to us since and only comes out of your room when he knows we're either out or asleep."

Unable to meet Leo's gaze, Raph instead stared at the ground.

"It's been _over_ a week!" Leo burst out in frustration. "We can't get through to him, can't get him to listen to us. He won't even respond to April or Casey except to tell them to leave him alone! It's not like him and he can't continue like this, Raph, but I just don't know what else to do! Isn't there _any_ way you can talk to him?"

"I wish I could, Leo," Raph mumbled guiltily, "but that thing's still around and waitin' for me. There's more 'n one dangerous day than just Halloween and if I leave the astral plain, it'll take control of me again and use me to hurt Mikey. I just can't risk it," he choked out.

"You never explained how it got control of you in the first place, Raph. Honestly, I would have thought your spirit to be too strong to let something like that happen to you." Leo stared expectantly at his long-lost brother, waiting for him to open up and wishing they could communicate outside of the astral plain.

Raph's mouth twitched in a semblance of a rueful smile. "Moment of weakness, bro." He hesitated. "Remember that night Mikey dragged you all out to save that woman who was bein' raped?"

Leo nodded wordlessly.

Raph took a deep breath. "Well, I was so desperate to do somethin' to stop the monster attackin' her that I woulda done anythin'. That demon offered ta help me and I agreed."

"But a _demon_ , Raph?" Leo asked, astonished.

"Didn't know it was a demon at the time, bro, not that that's an excuse," Raph admitted shamefully. "Anyway, I agreed. It helped me stop that monster..."

"How?" Leo asked quietly, reaching out a comforting hand to rest on Raph's knee. "The reports said that Keen died of fright, so how did you stop him?"

"Don't ask and I won't tell," Raph replied darkly. "Anyway, after that, it got a toehold in me. Started slowly tryin' to take control. Fuck knows I tried to fight it. Even kept away for Mikey for weeks but in the end, I couldn't help myself. I had to check on him..." he swallowed at the terrible memory of what he'd seen of how Mikey was coping with his sudden disappearance. "I didn't want him to see me when I wasn't in full control of myself but I had to let him know he couldn't keep on like that. Then... I couldn't stay away afterwards." Raph sighed despondently and he began fiddling with a sai as he stared back off into the distance again. The astral plain had taken on the form it usually did when they all trained there as a family when they were younger; a large meadow surrounded by thick forest and plenty of large rocks and mounds, perfect for hiding in or behind.

"When I did come back a few days after, I knew that thing was still around, no way it was lettin' me go that easy, but I thought I had it beaten into submission. It slowly built its hold though and I didn't even realise. Before I knew it, it was usin' me to manipulate Mikey and there wasn't a damn thing I could fuckin' do about it!" he spat, furious at his own weakness. "In the end, the only thing I could do was try gettin' you to save him and you somehow heard me."

"I was meditating, trying to figure out a way to get through to Mikey," Leo admitted ruefully.

Raph nodded. "An' thank fuck for that! It woulda drained his life and soul to bring my body back to life and that woulda given it access to the real world to spread its evil. If it had..."

Suddenly, Raph stopped talking and turned his head, staring in surprise. Leo turned to see what his brother was looking at and saw Mikey standing stock-still in shock, waves of uncertainty, disbelief and tentative hope and joy competing for dominance across his pale sea-green face.

"Is that really you, Raphie?" Mikey asked in a hesitant whisper.

Raph scrambled to his feet, familiar smirk alighting his features. "You tell me."

Mikey stared, longing obvious on his face, his whole body quivering as if he couldn't decide which way to move. Suddenly, he darted forward, stopping directly in front of Raphael where he studied him intently.

"Looks like you," he said softly as Raph's smirk grew wider. Mikey breathed deeply. "Smells like you." Then Mikey threw his arms around Raph's neck, drawing him in for a deep kiss, and uncomfortable at watching, Leo looked away.

"Tastes like you," Mikey suddenly said after a time, mischief in his voice. "You taste like apple crumble."

"Last thing I ate," Raph's amused rumble returned.

"I thought I lost you forever, Raphie," Mikey said softly, sorrowfully.

"Nuh, even death can't keep me down. Was a close call though. Too close."

"What happened?"

Leo turned back to see his brothers still in each other's arms, Mikey's hand raised to gently caress his lover's cheek. "Uh... I think I'll leave you two alone. You've both got a lot to catch up on. I'll come talk to you again tomorrow, Raph."

Intent on Mikey, Raph barely acknowledged him and so Leo left the astral plain without another word.

-:-

Grinning wildly, Mikey raced through the lair looking for his brothers. " _He's alive!_ " he yelled throughout the lair excitedly. " _He's not gone, he's still alive!_ " Mikey cried again as he finally found his brothers. As Leo and Donnie turned to face him, startled disbelief clear on their features, Mikey realised what he sounded like and his smile grew sheepish as he chuckled self-consciously.

"Well, I know he's been dead for months and that sucks in way more ways than one but his _spirit's_ still alive. I mean," Mikey took a deep breath and then, trying to explain himself as quickly as possible, " _IthoughtthatdemontookhimintheendandthathewasgoneforeverandI'dneverseehimagainbuthe'sstillaroundand..._ "

"Mikey, calm down," Leo chuckled indulgently. He exchanged a glance with Donatello, happy to see their normally outgoing brother back to his happy, excitable self and _talking_ to them again. "We know what you mean."

Mikey drew himself up short and glanced nervously at Donnie. "You do?"

"Yes, we do," Leo confirmed.

"Well, of course _you_ do, Leo, you were there but uh..."

"It's okay, Mikey," Donnie gently reassured. "Leo explained everything."

"And you believe him?" Mikey asked, trying to hide the hurt he felt over not being believed when he'd tried to explain originally, and every time since, himself.

"Yes," Donnie replied firmly. Then added, "After everything that's happened, how could I not believe it?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Mikey muttered. He hesitated a moment before walking over and flopping into the nearest empty seat. Twiddling his fingers, he stared down into his lap, unsure what else to say.

"Oh, Mikey," Donnie suddenly exclaimed in realisation. "I'm so sorry we didn't believe you before now. We should have listened to you sooner and given you the benefit of the doubt without simply assuming that you were..."

"Losing my mind from grief?" Mikey interjected as Donnie hesitated.

Donnie grimaced. "Yes. Although, Mikey, you have to admit you were asking us to believe some pretty uh..."

"Crazy?"

"Wild," Donnie corrected firmly. "Wild ideas that the rational mind and science cannot explain."

Mikey snorted in disbelief. "Explain the astral plain and Master Splinter hearing you when you were being tortured by the Triceratons," Mikey instantly retorted. "And that crazy juju at the Volpehart building years ago."

Donnie opened his mouth to reply.

"And me dreaming of the underground city before ever even setting foot in the place. Oh! And Leo seeing ghosts in Japan and that Halloween at April's shop with the..."

"I'm sorry, Mikey," Donnie interrupted, cutting him off mid-sentence. "You're right. You'd think it would be easier for me to accept strange things, especially spiritual ones, more easily given our past experiences with them. Unfortunately, the scientist in me always wants proof first. It's hard to simply take things like that on faith."

"I know, bro, but sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith. Trust in your instincts rather than solid facts because if you take too long to listen to them, bad things can happen." Mikey sighed and turned to Leo, accusing. "At least Donnie's got good reasons for having a hard time believing in that stuff. You don't. You believe in the spiritual stuff and you still wouldn't believe me either."

"I'm sorry, Mikey. I have no excuse other than..." Leo trailed off, ashamed.

Both Mikey and Donnie looked to Leo in curiosity.

"Other than what?"

"No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't sense Raph the way you could when he came back during Obon, Mikey and then, according to you, only he came back and not Master Splinter as well, so I didn't believe it was possible. Or rather, I didn't _want_ to believe it was possible."

"Master Splinter probably would've come back if you'd both joined me at Obon," Mikey stated, staring at Leo in shock over his practical admission of jealousy.

"What do you mean?" Leo asked, blanching slightly.

"I mean, Raphie told me early on that Sensei didn't come with him because he didn't want to intrude on Raph's and my time together. Plus..." Mikey suddenly turned his head, ashamed. "I wasn't strong enough alone to lead them both back. Not alone."

Now it was Leo's turn to look away, filled with shame and disappointment with himself for not listening to his brother as well as for failing in helping to reunite their family for a few precious days with an ancient custom from a culture he loved and had always been drawn to.

"I'm sorry, Mikey," Leo began quietly. "I should..."

"No!" Mikey interrupted adamantly, shaking his head as he sat up straight and looked directly at his brother. "You've got nothing to be sorry for. Neither you or Donnie!"

"But..."

Mikey shook his head again. "Nuh uh! I mean, I know you guys didn't listen to me and all but I've always told wild stories so... yeah... understandable. But anyway, it's not you that should be apologising, it's me. I should have trusted you both more and tried harder to explain from the beginning instead of keeping things to myself and... I..."

"No, Mikey, we're the ones who dismissed you and refused to listen when we should have sat you down and made you talk to us instead."

Mikey snorted, "Yeah, cause that worked wonders when you did try your 'intervention'." He sighed and leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "You know, we could go on all night like this, arguing over who's blame it all is."

Leo chuckled self-consciously. "That's true, so how about we just forgive each other for our parts in this huge mess and promise to be more willing to listen to each other in future?"

"Sounds good," Mikey agreed as Donnie nodded. "But uh..."

"But what?"

Mikey sighed again. "That's not the part I feel so terrible about. I mean, I _do_ feel rotten about it all but... there's something else I did that I shouldn't have and there's no arguing over that."

"If it's about digging up Raph's body," Donnie began, "then it's..."

" _Shell no!_ Not that," Mikey blushed wildly; he never wanted to think about that again. Despite it all, he'd done it for the right reasons, even if he was tricked into it. "No," he repeated, "it's that I drugged you guys the night before and... how I treated you both ever since that night. You two were only trying to save me and I treated you horribly ever since. I'm really sorry, Leo, Donnie. Can you ever forgive me?" he asked plaintively, forcing himself to look at each brother.

"It's already forgotten, Mikey," Leo said warmly as Donnie stood from his own seat to come sit by Mikey and wrap his arms around him comfortingly.

Mikey relaxed into the warm embrace with relief; he'd been terrified of how they'd react, thinking they might shun him for everything he'd done.

Leo, too, came closer, sitting on the other side of Mikey. "So what happens now? I assume Raph told you everything?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, he did," Mikey admitted. He took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts. "I have to send him back."

Leo straightened and Donnie shot him a sharp look.

"I thought he couldn't find the way back? At least, that's what he told me."

Mikey nodded miserably. "He can't. He's going to have to wait it out in the astral plain until next Obon when I can try to light his way back again." He sighed. "It's going to suck so hard sending him back but it's too dangerous for him to stay."

"That's true," Leo agreed quietly.

"In the meantime, I'm going to spend at least a couple of hours a day in the astral plain with him to make the most of what little time we _do_ have left."

"And this time, when next Obon comes to an end, we'll both be helping you to send him off," Leo declared firmly, earning a grateful look from Mikey.

"Would you mind if I joined you in the astral plain sometimes?" Donnie asked hesitantly. "I'd really like to see Raph too."

"Of course," Mikey beamed broadly to Donnie's relief. "He's your brother too and it would be awesome for all of us to be together again.

"Even if it _is_ on borrowed time.

-:-

The months went by with Mikey visiting at least twice a day, usually accompanied by one or both brothers in the morning, leaving the evening visits reserved for Mikey and Raph alone and as each day passed, they grew ever closer to the point where it hurt to part again. It was almost as if all that time together in the astral plain was causing their souls to become intertwined, with the separation tearing them asunder whenever Mikey joined the living world once more.

As Obon loomed ominously ever closer, Mikey knew he couldn't bear to part with Raph again and so he tried desperately to keep up a brave and cheerful front for his lover who saw through him as easily as if he were made of glass.

"May as well just tell me what's wrong, Mikey. You can't hide your feelin's from me in the astral plain; we're too connected here."

Mikey sighed, defeated. Training in the astral plain growing up had been all about deepening their bonds, bringing them closer together, and it had worked. As adults and brothers, their minds and souls called to each other by sheer instinct, often even extending into the real world and giving them a way to sense when another was in trouble. As lovers though, meeting on the astral bound them close in ways neither Mikey nor Raph had ever expected or thought possible.

"I don't want to lose you again, Raphie," Mikey eventually admitted. "I _can't_ lose you again. We're _meant_ to be together!"

Raph stared at Mikey helplessly, feeling the exact same way. Staying was dangerous and impossible yet if pressed, he knew he'd give up anything to keep Mikey happy. Neither could he stand the thought of them being broken apart again but he had to be strong for Mikey's sake.

Mikey gazed into Raph's golden orbs, pleading, "Don't go, Raph, please."

"I don't want to go either, Mikey," he returned gruffly, "but what else can I do?"

"When that demon had control of you at the end, how much of what it said was true?" Mikey asked, trying and failing to ignore Raph's distress at the reminder.

"How much of what was true?" Raph asked, perturbed. "If you mean about my feelin's and junk, alla it. It was channelling my memories and feelin's to fool you."

"Yeah," Mikey muttered, reminded of just why he never saw through its deception and illusions. "But no, I mean about there being only two ways to be safe from it. To be back in the spirit world or... alive."

"Far as I can tell, all of it," Raph scowled, "but you know only one of those options is even possible, right?"

"But what if it wasn't?" Mikey asked suddenly, staring into his eyes unflinchingly.

"Whadda ya mean?" Raph asked sharply. "You better not be thinkin' of followin' me or tryin' to bring me back again!"

"No way!" Mikey retorted emphatically. "I'm just saying we're _meant_ to be together. Like two halves of one whole. Soul mates!"

"Mikey?" Raph frowned again.

"No, think about it, Raph!" Mikey insisted. "We've trained together our whole lives, both in and out of the astral plain and you _know_ we belong together. Out there, our souls call to each other, in here, they _come_ together."

Raph stared, mouth agape at the insinuation.

"What if we gave into that call, Raph? Let our souls come together and actually join? We... you could come back to the real world as a part of me and be alive again. We could share my body and be truly whole for the first time ever."

"You think that's really possible?" Raph asked curiously. He'd always prided himself on his individuality, on his independence but he loved Mikey so much that he found himself seriously entertaining the idea – if they merged their souls, they'd never be forced apart again, never have to go through hell apart again – he wouldn't be putting Mikey at risk again.

Besides, a part of him figured it would be nice to never be lonely ever again.

Mikey looked pointedly all about. "Didn't Master Splinter always teach us anything was possible in the astral plain? We could do it if we really tried. I _know_ we could."

Raph closed his eyes as he considered. He couldn't believe it but he _wanted_ what Mikey proposed, yet he owed it to them both to seriously think it through and to make sure Mikey did too. "We'd never be the same again," he warned.

Mikey shrugged, tossing Raphael a devil-may-care smile. "Nope! We'd be better!" he exclaimed brightly. "Because we'd be together."

-:-

He sat there drawing deep, rhythmic breaths, legs crossed and hands resting atop his kneepads, fingertips together and pointing up. A knock sounded at the door and he drew a sudden deeper breath as gold encircled blue eyes snapped open. Before he could respond, however, the door opened and Leonardo poked his head into the room.

"Oh good. I just came to rouse you from the astral plain but you're already out," Leo explained calmly.

He canted his head curiously, looking up at Leo.

"I know you want to spend as much time with Raph as possible before we have to send him back but there is such a thing as overdoing it, even in the astral plain. I don't want you mentally exhausting yourself in there, Mikey."

An amused smirk lit his features as he looked up at Leo. "Don't worry, bro, this is the last time we need to go there to visit Raph."

Leonardo blinked, confused; Obon was still a whole month away yet. "What do you mean?"

He yawned tiredly before bouncing to his feet and sauntering towards Leo. "Really long story, bro. Promise we'll explain in the morning, first thing after breakfast. Okay?"

For a long moment, Leo felt tempted to press the issue now since something seemed off about Mikey but then he simply put it down to the fact his brother had been overdoing it far too often of late and that he was tired.

That and thanks to his superstitious beliefs, Mikey often acted odder than usual on Friday the thirteenth.

"Alright," Leo eventually sighed. "I'll look forward to hearing all about it in the morning then. Good night, Mikey."

"Night, bro!"

As Leo closed the door, he could have sworn he saw a dark and vaguely sinister light enter his brother's unusual looking eyes. He paused for a moment, considering, then shook his head. It was late and he was tired and it was obviously just a trick of the dim, candle-lit lighting in the room. Of that, Leo was sure.

Then struggling with a yawn of his own, Leo headed for his own warm bed.

-:-

As Leo closed the door, the smile on his sea-green face turned cold and hard as he uttered a spine-chilling chuckle of triumph. "It'll be the last explanation you ever hear, Leonardo. That, I also promise."

-:-

* * *

Owari


End file.
